You See It All On The Farm

By: Paul A. Ibbetson

If you want to see some interesting and often humorous similarities in life, just take a trip to the farm. Having lived a great portion of my life in the country, I see parallels to all aspects of politics that play out daily in the pastures, fields, and woods of Kansas. Let me share with you a few humorous country analogues, that I believe, at least my fellow brothers and sisters of the soil will be able to identify with.

I have been amused for some time with the Democrats pick of Howard Dean as the Chairman of the Democratic National Committee. Few can argue, though at times I think some level-headed Democrats try, that the Chairman of the Democratic National Committee represents the face of the party to the world. Every time I watch Mr. Dean speak I have had the funny feeling that something is familiar about the man. Something I’ve seen before, but from where? After lengthy contemplation, it came to me; Yes, it’s something you see on the farm. For Mr. Dean, it’s all in the eyes and something I used to see in the cattle on the farm. You know, when the storm comes rolling in and the herd becomes agitated and for the most part unreliable. You can see that look in the cow’s eye, when a little too much white is visible above and below the pupil. When you see it you know it and you give the cattle a lot of space on that day, because in that particular state, they are not just a danger to themselves, but to you as well. Farmers have an uncanny sense of such things but it’s a little more elusive when watching it on the television. I recommend you test my observation and watch a little footage of the DNC Chairman for simple humor value sometime. You see it whether the Chairman is besmirching a minority group or ranting his way through a list of the states in the union. Even in the calmest of times, DNC Chairman Dean has that look, that special little twinkle in the eye that unequivocally says, “Yes, I’m crazy”. We laugh because it’s funny; we laugh a little harder when we know it’s true. It’s not just the look itself but also the fact that it always silently signals an unknown and radical action that no one can foretell. When Chairman Dean steps up to the microphone it’s like a giant roulette wheel has been spun. Will he say something poignant today or will he light himself on fire and jump into the crowd? Your guess is as good as mine. I have affectionately coined the look “Howard Dean wild-eyed”; something tells me this has the potential to become a household term. So for you farm folk, the next time the bull has spent the morning playing with the bumblebees, be kind enough to tell the neighbor that you share fences with that “el torro” has a mighty case of “Howard Dean wild-eye” today, It’s what good neighbors do.

Yes my friends, you see it all on the farm. It does not take long to find the farmyard animal that represents the Democratic Party as a whole. Now hold on! If you think that the donkey wins automatically you’re mistaken. In fact, I think that this beast of burden kinda gets a bum rap. I know that there are certain similarities that are shared, such as an uncanny stubbornness in times when cooperation is a necessity. However, when the donkey puts its mind too it, what little mind there is, it can get a lot done. In short, the donkey just doesn’t fit the bill. When you’re looking for which animal most closely represents the Democratic Party, it has to be the turkey. Yes, from birth to death the turkey is pure Democrat. Let me explain. Like the Democrats of today, the turkey lives in its own specific reality. From birth, the turkey has an uncanny way of getting itself into predicaments. Self-preservation is just not one of its strong suits. If it rains in the corner of the pen, the turkey dutifully walks over to the corner and drowns. If the turkey can get its head through the fencing, it hangs itself by morning. In fact, the early life of the turkey is often extended by the fact that the other critters of the farm often block the turkey from being able to get to its destination where its inability to cope with daily life would at some point overwhelm it and cause the turkey’s certain demise.

When the turkey becomes an adult the comparison is even more evident. Like the Democratic Party, the turkey tries to run the entire farm. Challenging the rooster at day break for vocal supremacy, the turkey yells his way through the entire day. That piercing boom of “gobble gobble!” which translates in human to “reporting for duty!” is combined with the narcissistic inflation of the body and the turkey is ready to patrol his ground. Like our friends from the left, the turkey can pull off the tough guy routine for only short stints. With a face three shades redder than Ted Kennedy, the turkey literally shakes with authority. He will even give you a little flogging if you show him your backside at the wrong time. However, when faced with a truly formidable foe, the turkey quickly deflates and shows the barnyard assembly the true meaning of cut and run. We certainly don’t hate the turkey as he makes life on the farm very interesting; however, both man and beast alike understand that the turkey can never be allowed to run the show. In fact, like the Democrat Party, no matter how much latitude is given to the turkey to strut and gobble, it’s best if they’re eaten for lunch every two to four years.

As you return back to your daily lives, which for many are far from the gravel roads where the lessons of the country begin, remember this. There’s a little bit of country in Washington politics, but if you look hard enough, there’s a whole lot of Washington politics in the country. The trick is to keep your eyes open. Give it a shot sometime and you’ll soon agree, you see it all on the farm.

Paul A. Ibbetson is a published author and lecturer on the Patriot Act. He is a former Chief of Police of Cherryvale, Kansas, and member of the Montgomery County Drug Task Force. Paul received his Bachelor’s and Master’s degree in Criminal Justice at Wichita State University, and is currently completing his PhD. in sociology at Kansas State University. Paul is the author of the book “Living under the Patriot Act: Educating a Society” coming out in 2006. Paul is a regular writer for the Conservative Crusader as well as several other online websites.

About The Author Paul A. Ibbetson:
Paul A. Ibbetson is a former Chief of Police of Cherryvale, Kansas, and member of the Montgomery County Drug Task Force. Paul received his Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in Criminal Justice at Wichita State University, and his Ph.D. in Sociology at Kansas State University. Paul is the author of several books including the 2011 release “The Good Fight: Why Conservatives Must Take Back America.” Paul is also the radio host of the Kansas Broadcasting Association’s 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2011 award-winning radio program, Conscience of Kansas airing on KRMR The Patriot 105.7 FM, For interviews or questions, please contact him at

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