â€˜Twas the Night Before Liberal Christmas v2006
By: J.J. Jackson
â€˜Twas the night before Christmas and all â€˜cross the land,
Americans were pondering the times now at hand.
The halls of the Congress the liberals reclaimed.
No more would they have Republicans to blame.
Left Wingers were nestled in their government beds,
As visions of impeachment danced â€˜round in their heads.
Clinton in her â€˜kerchief and with a stiff nightcap,
Was pondering which incomes first to target then sap.
The rich were all evil and Iraq was all wrong,
She knew well how to sing that tired, old song.
But what else to do? She was not all too sure.
For much beyond that liberal plans were a blur.
Clinton drifted to sleep and began a great dream.
The thought of more power caused her smile to beam.
Socialized Healthcare that would be a grand play!
And who really cared what the founders would say?
And somewhere out there on the new fallen snow,
In the dark of the night someone plotted a blow.
With court order in hand and a heart filled with mean,
They gleefully dismantled a nativity scene.
Then from the kitchen there arose such a clatter,
She sprang up to wonder what the heck was the matter!
The help had been ordered to go home and be gone.
And they should not be back until breakfast at dawn.
Had Bill been around she would have sent him to look.
Then feminist rage surged – that was all that it took!
She jumped to her feet and then snatched a hot poker.
Who ever it was would be one real sore joker!
Down the stairs she crept and the noise it grew louder.
A scent came to her nose like day old clam chowder.
At the kitchen she paused and took in a deep breath,
Hoping it was the cook Karen … or was her name Beth?
But what before her now wide eyes did appear?
The God awful sight of an enormous big rear!
Michael Mooreâ€™s head was deep in the fridge with delight,
The feast held within to him was a grand sight!
â€œWhat the Hell are you doing?â€ she cried with great might,
And caused the large man to freeze like a deer in headlights.
But he returned to his task without much ado,
â€œHillary my sweet, Iâ€™m so sorry to wake you.â€
He stood and he turned – a drumstick in his teeth,
His hands full of food and dried soup on his cheek.
Taking a bite and ripping the fowl from its place,
He wagged it at her and saw the look on her face.
â€œJust wanted to remind you to do as youâ€™re told,
More social programs before weâ€™re decrepit and old!â€
It could not be hid that he was pleased with himself.
More food he consumed like a disgusting fat elf.
â€œThereâ€™s that war in Iraq, unless you forgot!
Pull all our troops out before evil is caught!â€
â€œAnd also the House does seem out of order,
They did not vote for my buddy Jack Murtha!â€
As Hillary stood there with her mouth all agape,
She watched him suck down an apple pie and some cake.
He raised up his glass and did propose a bold toast,
â€œCommunism for all from the east to west coast!â€
J.J. Jackson is a libertarian conservative author from Pittsburgh, PA who has been writing and promoting individual liberty since 1993 and is President of Land of the Free Studios, Inc. He is the Pittsburgh Conservative Examiner for Examiner.com. He is also the owner of The Right Things - Conservative T-shirts & Gifts The Right Things. His weekly commentary along with exclusives not available anywhere else can be found at Liberty Reborn.