New Yearsâ€™ Resolutions
By: J.J. Jackson
Another Christmas has come and gone and now the New Year is upon us. So itâ€™s time to make our resolutions for the New Year that we will attempt to abide by. What are mine? Well, Iâ€™m glad you asked!
I resolve to continue to be an independent voice among so many who put party loyalty and beliefs in failed ideologies above all else.
I resolve to continue to promote limited government and personal liberty as the means to solving the problems of the people around the world.
I resolve that each and every week I will tweak off a liberal somewhere by writing something that absolutely flies in the face of their false ideas.
I resolve that I will continue to rail against corrupt politicians regardless of political party from people like Robert Ney (Republican) to William â€œCold Hard Cashâ€ Jefferson (Democrat).
Likewise I resolve to continue to point out how corrupt Republicans are continually forced to resign from office or not re-elected while corrupt Democrats are continually re-elected and allowed to serve and even considered for leadership positions in Congress.
I resolve that I will continue piss of liberals and neo-conservatives by pointing out how our elected officials continue to shred the Constitution with unconstitutional laws such as Campaign Finance Reform and unconstitutional programs such as Food Stamps, Social Security, Welfare and Medicare in a shameless attempt to coerce citizens on those programs to keep voting for them.
I resolve to continue to quote James Madisonâ€™s explanation of â€œgeneral Welfareâ€ in Federalist 41 to back this previous resolution!
I resolve to continue to call undocumented workers ILLEGAL immigrants and criminals because that is what they are.
I resolve that I will continue to support our troops by supporting their mission pissing off liberals and paleo-conservatives everywhere.
I resolve to continue to be offended by politicians that imply our soldiers are stupid or NAZIs.
Further, I resolve to open up on politicians that make these idiotic claims with both guns blazing.
I resolve to continue to make fun of Osama bin Laden hiding in his cave and crapping his pants every time a camel farts thinking it is an U.S. jet carrying a bomb with his name on it.
I resolve to continue to point out that the First Amendment with regards to religion relates only to the prohibition of government establishing a national church as our founders stated.
I resolve to continue to call terrorists who blow up women and children in market places cowardly.
I resolve to continue to poke fun at Rosie Oâ€™Donnellâ€™s weight and her apparent propensity for Ho-Hos.
I resolve that I will continue to correctly portray wealth redistributing liberals as communists, Marxists, socialists, etc.
I resolve to eat more beef, chicken, turkey and pork because I know somewhere a member of PETA has an aneurism with each bite I take.
I resolve to continue to conceal carry my sidearm to make any criminal think twice about how much my wallet is really worth to them and pray that some wacko member of PETA tries to throw red paint on my leather jacket so I can claim â€œself defenseâ€.
I resolve to continue to point out that that unborn lump of cells possesses inside the motherâ€™s uterus has all the basic biological traits of human life and make the heads of pro-abortionists spin.
I resolve to continue to point out that yes, indeed the founders did mention God (thatâ€™s the Christian God mind you) in the Constitution when they said â€œdone in the year of our Lordâ€ because it drives liberal secularists absolutely bonkers!
I resolve to continue to publish my yearly â€œTwas the Night Before Liberal Christmasâ€ parody in 2007 and beyond because liberals hate it.
And lastly, I resolve to make this world a better place for my son/daughter to be born in 2007 by basically continuing to do what I have always done.
Happy New Year. Laus Deo.
J.J. Jackson is a libertarian conservative author from Pittsburgh, PA who has been writing and promoting individual liberty since 1993 and is President of Land of the Free Studios, Inc. He is the Pittsburgh Conservative Examiner for Examiner.com. He is also the owner of The Right Things - Conservative T-shirts & Gifts The Right Things. His weekly commentary along with exclusives not available anywhere else can be found at Liberty Reborn.