Wal-Mart For President!


By: J.J. Jackson

America seems locked into a continuous political campaign cycle. Just a few months ago the midterm elections ended. Now we are already watching 2008 presidential hopefuls trip over one another to declare their candidacy, start fundraising, and hurl political campaign slogans.

Candidates are rushing forward claiming that they are the best person to solve the ills of American society, spinning facts to suit their agenda, promising everything under the sun to those that will vote for them and just generally giving all of us a big headache. Daily we are deluged with polls about who is ahead and what the eventual presidential match up will be come Election Day.

Some of the candidates give me cause for a glimmer of hope. But most, to be honest, just scare the living bejesus out of me as they run about pimping less liberty for American citizens and some form of government control as the solution to America’s ills.

I hold out hope that somehow a real candidate will not just rise to the top and get a nomination for the Presidency of the United States, but also that said candidate will actually win despite the overwhelming number of Americans that actually prefer the shackles of government to personal liberty. A candidate, dare I say, like Wal-Mart.

I know, I know. Wal-Mart is “evil” to some of you. You absolutely hate everything about Wal-Mart, and just seethe at the very mention of the name. But why? Wal-Mart has actually done what most politicians only claim to be able to do by government force.

Considering that millions of Americans every day shop at Wal-Mart, I don’t think I would be that far out on a limb to suggest that it would be a popular candidate. Name recognition? Forget about it! No other candidate from Hillary Clinton to Rudy Giuliani can come close!

That’s why I would like to see Wal-Mart run for the Presidency of the United States in 2008. You might scoff, but let’s look at Wal-Mart’s track record shall we?

First, Wal-Mart has a proven record of creating jobs. Ever been to a Wal-Mart that has no employees working there? I dare say that you have not.

Every time a Wal-Mart pops up, several hundred people get jobs. And not just jobs, but jobs that pay more than what even the current gaggle of politicians in Washington agrees should be the “minimum wage”. The average wage of Wal-Mart employees is (depending on whom you ask) about $9.00 per hour. What’s the national “minimum wage”? Certainly not that high!

Further, Wal-Mart has done this without government force. They have done this with the free market and simply adhering to the concepts of liberty and the freedom of citizens to openly contract with one another. No one is forced to work for Wal-Mart and when someone decides to leave for a better opportunity they are allowed to partake of that liberty. Major bonus points for adherence to the Constitution!

Beyond Wal-Mart having a proven track record of out performing our politicians on job creation and wages, Wal-Mart also has a strong history of fighting “price gouging” which is a favorite talking point of many politicians. By buying in bulk, getting huge discounts and selling at a lower margin, Wal-Mart has taken on all those so-called “mom and pop” stores that lived off obscene profits on shaving cream for all the years they were in business.

As a side effect of its full out assault on price gouging, Wal-Mart saves the American consumer money each time they shop at Wal-Mart. By saving money, Wal-Mart frees up capital that can either be saved by the individual or spent on bettering one’s quality of life. Candidate Wal-Mart gives the consumer more choice with how their money is spent and this means that there is more money for every American in their pockets.

Woah! You mean more money in people’s pockets without a Marxist wealth redistribution tax? Talk about success! And we’ve been told for years that this is nigh impossible!

But the benefits of Wal-Mart’s famously low prices have further ripple effects. The poor, those with the least disposable income, stretch their budgets further by shopping at Wal-Mart. Such an increase in spending power means that Wal-Mart has a documented history of raising the standard of living of this vulnerable segment of Americans.

What about Health Care you ask? Wal-Mart has solved that problem as well. It has made Health Care options available to almost all of its employees. Granted the health care is not “free” but there really is no such thing as “free” healthcare anyway. Someone has to pay for it and those costs just get passed along to the consumers. So not only are people provided the opportunity for healthcare but there is also no more hidden taxes to pay for health care hoisted on the spending public either. It’s a win-win!

But what is really great is that Wal-Mart does not force any of its employees to take the Health Care benefits they offer. If they don’t like the options, they can get their coverage elsewhere. That means that employees are free to choose if they want coverage or not and there is no reason to believe that if elected president that Wal-Mart will not extend these same opportunities to all Americans. Compare this to other politicians who seem set on a path of forced health care coverage by mandated suppliers and in violation of the limited powers of the Constitution.

But what about those companies that Wal-Mart has put out of business over the years by underselling them? What are you complaining about? They were “price gouging”! Remember?

Besides, once Joe Blow’s Hardware Store on the corner that was selling hammers at twice market value is punished for its evil ways the property can be more efficiently utilized by “the people” in the form of a coffee shop selling environmentally friendly lattes at five bucks a pop and patronized by the Wal-Mart shoppers that now have more money in their pockets.

How, with a record like this that makes our professional politicians look like armatures on issues from wages to healthcare can anyone even not consider a vote for Wal-Mart for President come November 2008? Sure there are some of you out there that would vote against Wal-Mart because you still think that government mandates and centralized control work to solve problems. But why ignore what works?

Wal-Mart for job creation!

Wal-Mart for higher wages!

Wal-Mart for helping the poor!

Wal-Mart for healthcare choice!

Wal-Mart for fighting price gouging!

Wal-Mart for higher a standard of living!

Wal-Mart for President! Spread the word!

Legal: In accordance with campaign finance regulations currently in existence and potentially to be placed in existence in the future by nebby politicians looking to curb free speech, the author of this article fully discloses at this time that he has not received any money from Wal-Mart, any Wal-Mart employee, any lobbying group tied to Wal-Mart nor any pet of any member of the Board of Governors for Wal-Mart, in exchange for this endorsement of Wal-Mart for President in 2008. Although he does disclose that he enjoys shopping there and saving bundles of money on every day items. He is also not under the control of space aliens who are currently seeking to invade the Earth. No animals were harmed in the writing of this article. Although some anti Wal-Mart types might have been mentally abused by reading an opinion that actually praises and entity that they hate with every fiber in their body. The author makes no claim of responsibility for the mental anguish of this category of people and suggests that any such individual seek immediate medical help. The author fully acknowledges that he likes chocolate cake and that even though Wal-Mart sells many brands of this yummy confection this has had no influence on his choice to endorse Wal-Mart for President. Further, the author asserts that no one associated with Wal-Mart has kidnapped any member of his family including, but not limited to, his mother, father, sisters, uncles, aunts, cousins or any family pets and made any demands that this article be written to ensure their safe return. And finally, as in “conclusion”, the author would like to make it known that he anyone who doesn’t like his opinion can both implicitly and explicitly can kiss his sizable and hairy, white butt.

About The Author J.J. Jackson:
J.J. Jackson is a libertarian conservative author from Pittsburgh, PA who has been writing and promoting individual liberty since 1993 and is President of Land of the Free Studios, Inc. He is the Pittsburgh Conservative Examiner for Examiner.com. He is also the owner of The Right Things - Conservative T-shirts & Gifts The Right Things. His weekly commentary along with exclusives not available anywhere else can be found at Liberty Reborn.
Website:http://www.libertyreborn.com

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