Whopper Abuse

By: Bob Parks

We’ve been through this before, but know-what’s-best-for-you progressives just won’t let it go.

The “Center for Science in the Public Interest” led by your typical disheveled looking liberal, Michael Jacobson, is suing Burger King because the food they serve contains the deadly trans fats.

“WASHINGTON, May 16 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ — By using partially hydrogenated oil, Burger King is knowingly increasing its customers’ risk of heart disease and early death, according to a lawsuit filed today by the nonprofit Center for Science in the Public Interest. CSPI is asking a District of Columbia Superior Court judge to order the restaurant chain to stop using the deadly trans-fat-laden ingredient, or at least to require prominent warning notices on Burger King’s menu boards. According to CSPI, Burger King is the biggest restaurant chain that is not fully committed to getting rid of the artificial trans fat found in partially hydrogenated oil.”

Burger King is a private corporation who’s only goal is to satisfy the taste buds of their customers; not placate a bunch of scraggly-haired activists. As long as they commit to making more of those “Enormous Omelet” sandwiches, they’ll have loyal customers who love them. Anyone with half a brain knows there’s enough grease in one of these sandwiches to lube a 757, and driving and eating one is not a good idea as that’s a two-hand sandwich. But with all that egg, cheese, bacon, and sausage,
that’s why we love them.

According to the Food and Drug Administration, “Scientific evidence shows that consumption of saturated fat, trans fat, and dietary cholesterol raises low-density lipoprotein (LDL), or “bad cholesterol,” levels, which increases the risk of coronary heart disease (CHD). According to the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute of the National Institutes of Health, more than 12.5 million Americans have CHD, and more than 500,000 die each year. That makes CHD one of the leading causes of death in
the United States.”

Like I believe the Burger King raises his plastic head off the pillow every day trying to figure out how to kill his customers.

More than 12.5 million people own cars and more than 500,000 are killed each year either in a car or being hit by one. Should we ban the automobile? Sorry, I shouldn’t give these whackos any ideas….

In a perfect nanny state, we’d all be eating tofu salads and soy shakes at health food restaurants and liberals, who seem to be fairly depressed people, might get off our backs. Okay, probably not, but what’s wrong with people being happy. Liberals are not, so let’s make everybody miserable, right?

And like in that movie where someone ate every meal at McDonald’s for a month, I shudder to think what I’d be secreting if I were to eat tofu three meals a day for a month.

News Flash to the left: We’re all going to die of something. Most of us would prefer a painless, just fall “asleep” kind of death, as opposed to being hit by a bus or slowly being incinerated or eaten alive. But this notion that by altering our behavior we’ll not die of something is preposterous at best. Healthy young people drop dead all the time and only a true fanatic will say they have fun running around the block several times every morning.

“In 2006, Wendy’s became the first big fast-food chain to switch away from trans fat. McDonald’s, which was sued in 2003 for still using artificial trans fat frying oil despite a 2002 promise to phase it out, has begun using trans- fat-free oil in some cities and plans to complete its conversion by the end of 2008. Starbucks replaced the partially hydrogenated oil in almost all of its pastries after news of a potential CSPI lawsuit was reported. Last month, KFC announced that it completed its conversion to trans-fat-free deep-frying, a move accelerated in part by a CSPI-initiated lawsuit, which the group withdrew from after KFC announced its intentions.”

Ever look at a Wendy burger lately? Lookin’ all dry and shit. Their fries have that funky aftertaste as well. I don’t do overpriced Starbucks coffee, have never bought their foods, and Kentucky Fried Chicken unfortunately has that aftertaste as well.

“While Burger King will comply with new requirements in New York City and Philadelphia not to use artificial trans fat in those cities, diners in the rest of the country will be subjected to high levels of trans fat.”

No wonder the murder rates in New York City and Philadelphia are what they are.

“Despite the moves of its competitors and the well-known dangers of artificial trans fat, it is unfortunate that Burger King is still using partially hydrogenated oil in fried foods and other menu items,” said CSPI executive director Michael F. Jacobson. “Some of its meals contain three, four, or five times as much trans fat as is safe to consume in an entire day. I hope that this lawsuit will spur Burger King to quickly eliminate the trans fat and, in the meantime, to warn its customers that it’s there.”

Using the law to alter people’s behavior. And should Jaconson succeed and make Burger King a place I can do without, will he come to my home and try to tell me what I can and can’t barbecue? Who died and made Michael F. Jacobson the last word on what goes into a Happy Meal?

I have personally never forgiven McDonald’s for removing the dark meat from the McNuggets. They were a treat for this loyal patron, but some malcontents decided to make trouble as certain foods were not conforming to the dietary requirements of certain religions. I once wrote about how stupid (or evil) one would have to be to expect McDonald’s to have religiously-correct menus.

BTW- I’m not sure what kind of oil they now cook their fries and McNuggets in, but there’s a bitter aftertaste that I now take into account every time I think about buying them.

There was a time when a McDonald’s fry was a done deal.

“Numerous fried and non-fried foods at Burger King have alarming levels of trans fat, according to CSPI. A King-size Onion Rings has 6 grams of trans fat. A regular-size order of Chicken Tenders with a large order of French fries has 8 grams of trans. A Sausage Biscuit with a large order of Hash Browns has an astounding 18 grams of trans fat — more than someone should consume in 9 days.”

And on the tenth day, he rested….

Let’s get a few things straight. Only a troublemaker would go to McDonald’s or Burger King for a healthy meal, and only an idiot would believe that what they get from McDonald’s or Burger King IS healthy. Most of us go to a fast food burger joint to get a hot, greasy burger with gooey cheese blending with ketchup that’s also drowning hot, salty fries. I know that’s not healthy, but it’s my choice to eat that kind of food.

Jacobson and socialists like him can eat all the rice cakes they want. They can try and fool themselves by making veggie burgers that try to look and taste like meat. I opt for a fatty burger.

It’s my choice what I do with my body. Sound familiar?

“CSPI will be represented in its lawsuit by Stephen Gardner, its litigation director, with Steven N. Berk of the law firm of Chavez & Gertler acting as co-counsel. The suit charges that Burger King is in violation of the District of Columbia’s Consumer Protection Procedures Act by selling foods laden with trans fat and by failing to let consumers know — an omission that misleads the public assuming the items are safe.

“Burger King has more than 7,300 U.S. locations, and global sales of more than $11 billion.

“Virtually every major restaurant chain in the country is working overtime to replace artificial trans fats with healthier oils, but Burger King can’t be bothered,” said Gardner. “Litigation has proven to be an effective means at accelerating the pace with which restaurant chains are getting rid of trans fat, and we hope the court brings Burger King to his senses in this case.”

So when people won’t drop everything and do what some clown deems important, just sue because we’re all too stupid to know what’s good for us.

I’m running out of places to get the food and have it my way. In Los Angeles, when they banned smoking from bars, I bought six-packs and enjoyed my adult beverage and a smoke at home. Should Burger King cave like McDonald’s and produce food that tastes like it was laced with Saccharin, they will lose me as well as hundreds of thousands, if not millions of customers.

The Burger King need stand up to this fat Nazi and act like he has a couple of Whoppers between his legs. Do that and I can deal with the big creepy plastic head.

Bob Parks is a staff writer for the New Media Alliance, Inc. (www.thenma.org). The New Media Alliance is a non-profit (501c3) national coalition of writers, journalists and grass-roots media outlets.

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