The Nannies Are Coming To Rehabilitate Us
By: Ken Hughes
Fear not the sacred Saints of Tofu and devotes of Darwin are on their way.
Has anyone found them selves hip deep in french fries covered with catsup, or swimming in a vat of diet soda? Fear-not the grass eating, pot sniffing environmentalists will save you. Eat a two pound tofu steak, drink a half liter of un-chlorinated bottled water, run 10 miles, pray to the Gods of Green Things and youâ€™re on the road to being rehabilitated from your formerly carnivores self. Trust me itâ€™s the intentions of the sacred Saints of Tofu to reeducate everyone in the world into becoming vegetarians. Thereâ€™s a slight problem, what to do with carnivores whose digestive system doesnâ€™t accommodate vegetation?
What the hell no plan is perfect, theyâ€™ll get back to that one later. In the meantime all those marvelous things God created to tantalize our taste buds have been deemed poison by the [Eat Healthy Police.] Salt, Sugar, Grease, Booze, lots of booze. Even as we speak Congress is considering a ten dollar tax on a good counterfeit Cuban Cigar, and of course as always itâ€™s for the sake of the children. If I ever saw a kid wasting a good cigar Iâ€™d kick butt.
Most of the claims of the â€œEat healthy Food Mongersâ€ are bogus. Most foods in moderation arenâ€™t harmful. What the nannies should be addressing are things done in excess. The first thing that happens to a new born child, the doctor kicks its ass and his mother shoves a plastic tit [pacifier] in its mouth. With that kind of a start in life is that? No wonder kids find eating junk food an outlet for their frustrations. Itâ€™s my belief if God made it, it canâ€™t be all bad, enjoy and shut up.
We must ask ourselves, how do the â€œThought Policeâ€ [aka] â€œNanny Patrolâ€ get so much influence in political affairs? The answer is simple. They exorcise their right to express their opinions, and since the rest of us remain silent who gets the mediaâ€™s attention? There are hundreds lobbying congress for specific wants, thereâ€™s only one Lobbyist in Washington standing up to the Nanny Police, The Center for Consumer Freedom.
If you want your hamburgers greasy and your french fries salty tell McDonaldâ€™s, Wendyâ€™s and Burger King to tell the nannies to shove it. There comes a time in our lives when we must put a halt to others telling us how to live our lives. Believe me when I tell you thereâ€™s no end to the lengths these people will go to just to stay in the public eye. Publicity is an obsession more than the causes they represent theyâ€™re devious to a fault.
PETA is behind most if not all of the Nanny Patrols hijinks, PETA is the front origination for the vegetarian movement. They are opposed to all living breathing critters, except liberals of course. They call for the neutering and spading of all pets, when the dogs, cats and fishies are all gone then theyâ€™ll start castrating Horses, Bulls and Conservative Republicans. When the vegetarians finish only Soybeans [Tofu] will be left on earth to propagate. Who will be left on earth to spread the fear and hate?
Does this mean life wonâ€™t end with Armageddon but will end in a giant food fight, could be?