A Chat With JFK
By: Leigh Patrick Sullivan
The last thing I remember is falling backwards. I had been hanging a picture on the wall when, as I recall, the footstool gave way and I nailed the back of my head on the table. Somehow, I end up in Massachusetts sitting on a park bench. I turn and look at the figure sitting next to me and there, astonishingly, sits the 35th president. He says hello.
JFK: Care for a scotch?
MS: Um, sure. Where am I?
JFK: On a park bench.
MS: No, I meanâ€¦
JFK: So, whatâ€™s been happening since Iâ€™ve been away?
MS: Well, what would you like to know, Mr. President?
JFK: Is the Cold War over? Who won?
MS: Sure. That was over by 1990. Wall came down and everything.
JFK: Outstanding! So, howâ€™s the new free and democratic Russia? A shining free market success just like we all guessed, right?
JFK: Well, they donâ€™t have some kind of power-hungry communist leading them now, do they?
MS: Moving onâ€¦.so what do you miss the most?
JFK: Sailing. Thereâ€™s no sailing here. And a nice, round set ofâ€¦
MS: Uhâ€¦Mr. Presidentâ€¦?
JFK: Whoâ€™s the president now? Is it still Bush?
MS: Youâ€™ve heard of him? Yeah, heâ€™s there for a few more years.
JFK: We hear a few things once in a while – rumors mostly. Who ran the show before him?
MS: Bill Clinton from Little Rock, AR. He had two terms.
JFK: And what was he like?
MS: Well, he had to deal with multiple sex scandals, including one with a cigarâ€¦
JFK: Really? (leaning slightly forward, eyes lighting up) Go onâ€¦
MS: He had this thing about doing chicks in the White House.
JFK: So what was the problem? He sounds like my kind of guy.
MS: You would have liked him, sir.
JFK: I remember this one time I called this intern into the back room. She wore this blue dressâ€¦
MS: What else would you like to know?
JFK: There must be peace in the Mid East by now, yes?
MS: Wellâ€¦not quite yet. You see, thereâ€™s a War on Terror happening. It seems these Islamic terrorists hijacked a few jets and crashed them into the World Trade Center.
JFK: My God! Weâ€™re fighting back, right?
MS: For sure. The coalition has troops fighting in Afghanistan, Iraq, and a few other places.
JFK: And of course the American people are united against the common enemy!
MS: I have to be going now.
JFK fades into a fog. I wake up with one hell of a headache.
Leigh Patrick Sullivan, http://lpsullivan.blogspot.com
The Moderate Separatist