Women Who Batter, Proudly
By: Carey Roberts
Chivalrous men resist the image, but itâ€™s a problem that has become so pervasive that we must summon up the courage to face it â€“ an epidemic of women who pummel their husbands and boyfriends.
A recent survey by the Centers for Disease Control found that among physically aggressive couples, 71% of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were female. And last year Renee McDonald of Baylor University published a study in the Journal of Family Psychology with almost identical results.
Whatâ€™s going on, ladies?
The problem isnâ€™t just gals who clean their boyfriendsâ€™ clock in a drunken rage. These high-testosterone females abuse their men and then come clean with a swaggering braggadocio.
A few months ago ABC Primetime did an experiment. The producers hired two actors â€“male and female â€“ to feign partner violence in a public park. They wanted to see what passers-by would do when they spotted the woman pounding her boyfriend with a rolled-up newspaper. [source]
Most persons paused, then cast a â€œitâ€™s not my problemâ€ shrug. But one young lass was caught on camera doing a pumped-fist â€œatta-womanâ€ salute. You go, girl!
That would never happen in real life, right?
Consider superstar singer Amy Winehouse. Married to Blake Fielder-Civil, she now admits that she uses him as a â€œpunch-bag.â€ â€œIâ€™ll beat up Blake when Iâ€™m drunk. â€¦ If he says one thing I donâ€™t like then Iâ€™ll chin him,â€ she brags.
I recently came across a website called Jezebel.com. Jezebel is one of those tell-all websites run by women who flaunt tattoos that declare, â€œI know what I want and I know how to get it.â€
Recently a Jezebel editor named Slut Machine posted a cheeky piece called, â€œHave you Ever Beat up a Boyfriend? Cause, Uh, We Have.â€ Letâ€™s put it this way — the column brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, â€œfemale empowerment.â€
Ms. Machine confided that one her co-editors had overheard her boyfriend flirting on the phone, â€œso she slapped the phone out of his hands and hit him in the face and neckâ€ Another smacked a guy when he tenderly revealed to her â€œhe thought he had breast cancer.â€ As an afterthought she wrote, â€œthat one made us laugh really hard.â€[source]
I was certain that such brazen admissions would draw howls of protest from persons who know full well that â€œthereâ€™s no excuse for domestic violence.â€ Well, this is what they said:
Probationer announced to her on-line Sisterhood, â€œYeah, I’ve punched the **** out of a guy. But I donâ€™t like to brag.â€
Fromthetulleshed bragged, â€œIâ€™ve had many satisfying dreams where I beat up my ex.
If I saw him again, I donâ€™t think Iâ€™d be able to restrain myself.â€
Some thought assaulting a guy was downright hilarious: â€œI bounced an alarm clock off my husbandâ€™s head from across the room once. I havenâ€™t been able to find a decent alarm clock since,â€ lamented Kwindsorfish.
And Sparkle proved you donâ€™t have to be physical to be abusive: â€œI try so so SO hard to do the sitting silently trick. â€¦ But I just couldnâ€™t keep myself from laughing after like a minute thirty of â€˜ignoringâ€™ him. It just makes me too giddy to think that I can have that much power by doing absolutely nothing at all.â€
When it came to the fact that female abusers often use weapons or the element of surprise to compensate for their smaller size, the women seemed clueless. JoanCrawford revealed, â€œMy Ex told me his former lover beat him. I was a bit startled when I met her. He is 6â€™3â€ about 195 lbs.; she was 5â€™ and appeared to weigh literally 98 lbs. Battered men? The question is, are these men really physically afraid?â€
Creative excuses were de rigueur. Goupie reasoned, â€œI slap my boyfriend on a semi-regular basis. It always hurts me more than it hurts him. And he usually agrees that he deserves it.â€ Aziâ€™s comment, â€œI have to say I think he may have had it coming,â€ was the most common pretext.
And Crocodile Tears of remorse were shed by the bucket-full. Washionfore confessed, â€œI have slapped a man down before, quite hard, but I love him so I felt bad because, well, itâ€™s abusive.â€
Actress Sally Field recently received an Emmy Award for best actress. During her acceptance speech she boasted that women are of the peace-loving kind, crudely shouting, â€œAnd, letâ€™s face it, if the mothers ruled the world, there would be no [expletive deleted] wars in the first place.â€
But based on the gleeful comments of the naughty Jezebel girls, somehow I donâ€™t think Miss Fieldâ€™s act is ready for prime time.