More Newsworthy: Oprah’s Thyroid Or Ellen’s Iggy?

By: John Lillpop

With all due respect to those who decide what is newsworthy and what is not, many of the stories making the editor’s cut these days do not seem particularly compelling.

For instance, why is Oprah Winfrey’s thyroid a major story?

Mind you, I appreciate the fact that Oprah is an icon to oodles of free loaders who survive on junk food and booze purchased with welfare money. And I am not oblivious to Oprah’s ongoing struggle with weight.

Count me among those who sincerely hope that treating her wonky thyroid will make Oprah sexy and skinny. Again.

But to be perfectly honest, I suspect that Oprah is acting out on her addiction to Twinkies. Again.

By now, the queen of television surely must know that 30-40 Twinkies a day add up quickly. Throw in a half dozen cheesy pizzas, and before you know it the world has 20 extra superflous pounds of Oprah to contend with.

But are Oprah’s weight and thyroid problems really the stuff of which relevant news stories are crafted?

Then we have the heartbreaking story of Ellen DeGeneres and her dog Iggy. Iggy is the canine pest that Ellen rescued from Mutts and Moms, a pet adoption agency.

Poor Ellen cared so deeply for this pooch that she gave the damn thing to her hairdresser in order to soothe her cats who found Iggy to be a royal pain in the tush.

However, Mutts and Moms found Ellen’s unauthorized transfer of Iggy to be in violation of her adoption contract, several amendments to the U.S. Constitution, and a Canine Bill of Rights currently being debated in the Democrat-controlled California state legislature.

As a result, local police halted their hunt for murderers and kidnappers long enough to remove Iggy from Ellen’s scalawag hairdresser. Mutts and Moms then assigned Iggy to a new owner.

How did DeGeneres react to the news that her beloved Iggy was no longer with family?

1 Comment

  1. Pingback by University Update - Oprah Winfrey - More Newsworthy: Oprah’s Thyroid Or Ellen’s Iggy?

    [...] Efron More Newsworthy: Oprah’s Thyroid Or Ellen’s Iggy? » This Summary is from an article posted at American Conservative News Politics & Opinion – The Land [...]

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