Stop the Insanity

By: Patti Bankson

• East Hampton, NY town leaders adopted a Vegetation Protection Ordinance to prevent over-clearing of residential properties. IF you submit a site plan and get a permit, you can clear a certain number of square feet of your own property Otherwise, you must let the vegetation grow; leave the land in its “natural state”. Most cities will fine you for allowing your property to become overgrown, but in East Hampton, if you keep your property mowed, trimmed and tidy you could face 6 months in jail. I expect a major migration to the toney Hamptons, right after people across the country toss out their lawn mowers, weed eaters and edger’s.
• 30 years ago Chicken Little was worried about Global Cooling.
• Not long ago, pollsters reported that people across the political spectrum said they couldn’t vote for Mitt Romney because he doesn’t believe in Jesus. And they couldn’t vote for Mike Huckabee because he does. They’re “concerned about religious zealotry”. Huh? I haven’t heard anything from either man that even comes close to zealotry. Besides, I think we’d be better off if we were more concerned about zealotry when it comes to things immoral and unconstitutional.
• When did presidential candidates become rock stars? When did late night TV shows become the campaign trail? Frankly, I’ve been embarrassed for candidates when they’ve appeared with Jay Leno and David Letterman, etc. But never quite as embarrassed as I was for Barak Obama when he appeared on the Ellen Degeneres Show and the two of them were “gettin’ down”. Wow! Talk about high praise, and a campaign highlight. Well, he acted like it was a campaign highlight, anyway, when she told him that he’s the best dancer of all the presidential candidates who’ve been on her show. He is a good dancer, but I’m having a little trouble figuring out how “good dancer” equals “good president”.
• Some 1st grade boys were playing “Cowboys and Indians” at school, using their fingers as “guns”. In the spirit of their “No Tolerance” policy, the school suspended them. A 6-year old girl drew pictures on the sidewalk in front of her house with chalk. Pictures of flowers; innocent little girl pictures. But the little girl’s family apparently shares the sidewalk with a neighbor, and the neighbor wasn’t happy about having “her” sidewalk messed up. So, the neighbor called police, and the little girl was “arrested”. The next day the drawings were gone, washed away by the rain. I wonder what – and how long – it will take to wash away the fear and confusion that little girl and those little boys must feel. Can’t play on monkey bars, anymore. Can’t play pretend, anymore. Can’t draw pretty (washable) pictures on the sidewalk, anymore. Can’t be a kid, anymore.
• Gays in San Francisco burst into a Catholic church dressed in drag… as nuns, wearing make-up no self-respecting woman would wear, much less a nun. They weren’t arrested. Guess they weren’t young enough?
• A business in Philadelphia advertised: “We’d rather do business with 1,000 Al Qaeda than 1 American.” The business? A funeral home. “Aaah, the voice of reason… or at least of civilized sanity… in an insane world.” (John DiDonna)

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2007 Patti Bankson

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