Wherever There Are Criminal Invaders and Free Loaders, That Is Mexico!

By: John Lillpop

How utterly brilliant of Mexican President Felipe Calderon to remind the United States of his major political philosophy for running Mexico.

During his State of the Cesspool address in September, this deranged leader said, “Wherever there is a Mexican, that is Mexico.”


Translated from guttural Spanish into bandito Mexican, Calderon’s real message was: “America’s borders, sovereignty, immigration laws, and rule of law do not apply to Mexicans in the United States illegally.”

A more sophisticated, less politically correct, account of Calderon’s retarded words renders the following:

“Wherever there is education, health care, welfare, food stamps, and other public services to steal, that is Mexico!”

Whichever version of Calderon’s mental collapse one chooses to accept, it is clear that this corrupt fascist does not have a clue about how to rock Mexico from it’s decades old siesta in the comfy confines of the third world.

An example of how Calderon’s muddled Mexican mind works, or does not work, can be gleaned from his ambitious “End Poverty in Mexico” program.

Under normal circumstances, one would assume that such a program would include initiatives to improve education, increase productivity, reduce taxes, encourage foreign investments, and other high technology measures to strengthen Mexico.

However, Felipe Calderon’s “End Poverty in Mexico” program is nothing more than an “Invade America Kit” which includes:

* Maps showing the least protected border points;

* List of llegal alien friendly locations throughout Arizona;

* Locations and hours of welfare and food stamp distribution centers;

* Directions to emergency rooms with Spanish speaking physicians who specialize in delivering anchor babies;

* List of emergency rooms where, for the right amount of money, one can purchase a United States birth certificate for a child actually born in Mexico. Caution: Generally available only for Latino children less than eight years old, under 5’3′, and weighing not more than 200 pounds;

* Phone numbers and email addresses for anti-American ACLU lawyers and other civil rights anarchists,

* Retail stores selling Mexican flags and other protest marching gear at discount prices for those with certifiably fraudulent matrícula ID cards, and

* Phone numbers for all branch offices of the Democrat Party. Democrat party operatives will actually arrange for transport to the nearest “Get Out the Vote!” center so that illegal aliens can register immediately.

Americans anxious about Felipe Calderon’s lack of respect for the sovereignty and rule of law in the United States can rest assured that the other prominent president in North America with limited English language skills had this to say about Calderon’s State of the Cesspool warning:

“We are kicking ass in Iraq!”

Thank you, President Bush.

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