Sympathy for the She-Devil?
By: Thomas Lindaman
The recent stories about Hillary Clintonâ€™s campaign spending money like a lonely male Lotto winner at a strip club have given us a new look at the woman who would be President. We already suspected that she wasnâ€™t ready to run the country, but the ways sheâ€™s spent campaign cash have pretty much solidified it. Seriously, $1300 for Dunkinâ€™ Donuts? Thatâ€™s what Michael Moore spends for his pre-pre-pre-post-pre-post-post-pre-post-post-pre-post-pre-mid-morning brunch, for the love of Pete!
Yet, I canâ€™t help but feel sorry for Hillary at this point. You read that right, folks. I feel sorry for Hillary Clinton. And, surprisingly, the straitjacket is very comfortable. And the men in the nice white coats bring me all sorts of wonderful drugs!
Seriously, Iâ€™m wincing as each new story about Hillary and her campaign comes out because itâ€™s becoming clear that her campaign is the worst one a Democratic candidate has ever run without hiring Bob Shrum. Overspending, bad post-Super Tuesday strategy, awkward lines about â€œ35 years of experienceâ€ and â€œchange you can Xerox,â€ and Billâ€™s ill-advised and ham-handed forays into racial politics notwithstanding, Hillary seems to have counted on being granted the Democratic nomination by virtue ofâ€¦well, being Hillary.
Part of this expectation stems from the fact Hillary has never had to run a campaign in a competitive race until now. In 2000, her chief competition, Rudy Giuliani, dropped out due to cancer, leaving Rick Lazio to pick up the pieces, but not the Senate seat. Then in 2006, the Republican who ran against Hillary had less of a chance than John McCain does of being caught in a sex scandal. Okay, bad example, but Hillary has been pretty much untouchable in her Senate races. Now, with Barack Obama making waves like Michael Moore doing a cannonball into the ocean, Hillaryâ€™s finding out the hard way that sheâ€™s not nearly as untouchable as she has been.
Perpetuating this problem has been the people Hillaryâ€™s campaign has been hiring. Get this. Democratic media consultant Mark Penn has already received $3.8 million from the Clinton campaignâ€¦and is owed even more. And when you consider over the stretch of the past 11 caucuses and primaries as of the date of this writing that Iâ€™ve tied Hillary without spending a dime, we can see how well that moneyâ€™s been spent. Combine with this the legion of yes-men surrounding Hillary, but not really offering sound advice, and you have a candidate dangerously disconnected with the American people and reality. And when you consider the Democrats ran Al Gore and John Kerry, thatâ€™s saying something.
At this point, it looks like there are more people looking to make as much money off the Hillary campaign while itâ€™s still viable than there are people willing to help it success. And, yes, that includes Bill. For 8 years, Bill was the center of the political universe as President, and heâ€™s never let that go. So, when Hillary started her campaign, it was his chance to get out in front of the people and press the flesh. And he was meeting people, too! Seriously, though, Bill was brought on to try to rekindle the Clinton magic and have it rub off on Hillary. (Is it just me, or does just about every phrase imaginable turn into a sexual innuendo when you talk about Bill Clinton?) As it turns out, even Bill had ulterior motives when stumping for his wife, namely to get himself back in front of people who love him. And to score with women, and not in the political sense, if you know what I mean.
This is why I feel sorry for Hillary. In spite of everything sheâ€™s pulled, lied about, lashed out at, and hid from, sheâ€™s still human. Or at least, I think sheâ€™s human. I mean, I havenâ€™t done DNA testing on her to be certain, but Iâ€™m making a reasonable guess here.
In Greek tragedies, the protagonists always had a fatal flaw that would eventually come back to bite them in the back side. In this case, Hillaryâ€™s Achillesâ€™ Heel was the fact that she made Howard Hughes look gregarious while on the campaign trail. We never really got to see the â€œrealâ€ her. Granted, thatâ€™s like wanting to see Pamela Andersonâ€™s real breasts, but itâ€™s still pretty important. Voters need to feel a connection to a candidate for them to truly get behind them. With some voting blocs, she had that connection, but not because of anything she did. Rather, it was because of identity politics or the prospect of getting Bill back in the White House to stick it to the Republicans. That sort of support proves to be a mile long, but only as deep as the memoirs of Hillary supporter and former porn actress Jenna Jameson.
But before you think Iâ€™ve gone completely soft here, I have to say that I donâ€™t completely feel sorry for Hillary. The reason is that each and every one of these mistakes Hillary and her campaign have made is a choice. Hillaryâ€™s campaign is choosing to spend a million dollars a month on bad advice. The campaign chose to believe the nomination would be wrapped up by Super Tuesday. The campaign chose to spend all sorts of money to make Hillary look Presidential in the early states, which is leaving her short of money now. But instead of learning from the mistakes, she continues to make them. Thatâ€™s the sign of someone not ready to be President.
Let me leave you with a final joke. Whatâ€™s the difference between Hillaryâ€™s campaign and the Titanic? The music was better on the Titanic.
Thomas Lindaman is a Staff Writer for the New Media Alliance, Inc. (www.thenma.org).