This Time, the Japanese Have Just Gone Too Far!


By: John Lillpop

We Americans are, for the most part, a tolerant people, willing to forgive and forget over time. Which is why, despite the best efforts of George W. Bush, America still enjoys positive, and mutually satisfying, relations with most other nations in the world.

For instance, take Japan. Over the last seventy years, the Japanese have given America several opportunities to develop a long-lasting and justifiable hatred for everything from and of Japan.

To start with, the Japanese attacked the U.S. military at Pearl Harbor on December 07, 1941, a day that will “live in infamy” and the day that brought America into World War 11, willing or not.

But the Japanese are a very clever and cunning people who learned that no nation stands a chance in a military confrontation with the United States. They also learned that Americans fancy all manner of electronic gadgetry such as cameras, high-fidelity music systems, televisions, VCRs, and the like, all of which can be manufactured in Japan for a fraction of the cost of producing said products in the United States.

As a result, brand names like Mitsui and Sony replaced Magnavox and Sylvania in the living rooms of the average American family.

Thus, while the Japanese were unable to subdue America with fighter planes, bombs, and Kamikaze pilots, they brought our proud nation to its knees with eight-track audiotapes and the remote control.

Despite the loss of jobs here at home, the American people understood that “free and open markets” are vital to our way of life. So we stuffed our resentments and bought more gadgets and goods from our newly minted allies in Japan.

Then came the Japanese assault on the American automobile industry.

After decades of driving Buicks, Studebakers, Chevies, and Fords, Americans suddenly found new car dealerships stocked with dozens of models bearing the names Toyota and Honda. Best of all, these cars were more gas efficient and durable, and less costly, than American cars.

Once again, America relied on open markets to serve the interests of the American people. Which is why Toyota is now the leading manufacturer of cars sold in America, while Ford and Chevrolet continue to lose market share while bleeding red ink.

But while America has graciously accepted Japanese dominance in certain technologies and products for 70 years, the latest assault on our way of life is so severe that it threatens to destroy all existing goodwill between the United-States and Japan, forever.

The notion of hostilities between the two nations, once unthinkable, now seems plausible.

You see, the December 7, 1941 “Day of Infamy” has been usurped by two new days of infamy, namely March 25 and 26, 2008.

On those dates, the Japanese government and people hijacked American baseball and caused two major-league, regular season games to be played on Japanese soil, rather than in America!

Repeat: Two official games between the World Champion Boston Red Sox and the Oakland Athletics were played in Tokyo, rather than in Fenway Park in Boston or McAfee Stadium in Oakland, California! Both games will count in the 2008 pennant races, despite the lack of American witnesses in the stands.

This travesty of money over sportsmanship has had a huge negative impact on American fans, especially those of us who live in California. This is so because the first pitch thrown in Japan was around 3 AM, Oakland time.

This time, the Japanese have just gone too far!

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