Hillary Unleashes Her Inner Macho
By: Carey Roberts
Belatedly, the Clinton campaign has come to realize that white men represent the critical swing vote of the 2008 primaries. When Hillary captured the white male vote, she has won 9 out of 14 contests. But when the good-olâ€™-boys gave the nod to Barack, he triumphed in 9 of the 15 races. [source]
Problem is, Hillary has been rubbing a lot of persons the wrong way with her girl-power jokes and â€œIron my Shirtâ€ pranks.
Earlier this month the Democratic elders began to call for Clintonâ€™s withdrawal from the race. Predictably, Hillaryâ€™s surrogates screamed â€œmisogynyâ€ and pushed back with the claim that â€œGinger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.â€
Obviously these women never danced the lead for the tango.
So how is Hillary going to pull off her kiss-and-make-up with the male electorate? Well, simple â€“ if she canâ€™t beat the boys, why not join â€˜em!
So on April 1 â€“ April Foolâ€™s Day, for those who noticed â€“ Mrs. Clinton showed up on the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art and invoked the memory of Rocky Balboa, legendary boxer of film fame. Putting on her best he-man imitation, she exclaimed, â€œLet me tell you something, when it comes to finishing a fight, Rocky and I have a lot in common. I never quit. I never give up.â€
A few days later she shared one of her fondest childhood memories. â€œYou know, my dad took me out behind the cottage that my grandfather built on a little lake called Lake Winola outside of Scranton and taught me how to shoot when I was a little girl,â€ she related. Waxing sentimental, she added, â€œPeople enjoyed hunting and shooting because itâ€™s an important part of who they are.â€
(Note to Second Amendment advocates: Before getting excited over this political pabulum, be sure to check out Hillaryâ€™s record on gun control. On at least 17 different occasions, she has issued statements on the need to restrict access to guns, including her 2000 proposal to license and register handgun sales: www.ontheissues.org/2008/Hillary_Clinton_Gun_Control.htm .)
But by mid-April the non-stop campaigning began to take its toll and Mrs. Clinton hankered for some quality time with the boys. So she sauntered over to Bronkoâ€™s Restaurant and Lounge in Crown Point, Ind.
Sidling up to the bar, she ordered the bartenderâ€™s finest. In full view of the cameras she took a sip of the Crown Royal whiskey, then threw her head back and finished off the rest of the shot.
Then wiping off the dried tobacco spittle around her mouth with the back of her sleeve, Mrs. Clinton let loose a guttural â€œAhhhhâ€ and ordered up a round of Jack Daniels for all the blurry-eyed gents huddled around the bar. (I made up that part.)
Hillary still wasnâ€™t done with her Rambo wannabe routine.
As Pennsylvania voters streamed to the polls this past Tuesday, Mrs. Clinton appeared on ABC. Asked about the looming threat from Iran, Clinton indulged in some high-profile saber-rattling. â€œI want the Iranians to know that if Iâ€™m president, we will attack Iran,â€ she warned. â€œIn the next 10 years, during which they might foolishly consider launching an attack on Israel, we would be able to totally obliterate them.â€
Totally obliterate them? Goodness gracious, if Senator McCain ever uttered those words, heâ€™d be tarred, feathered, and sent packing to Arizona.
Even after she won the Pennsylvania primary, Clinton continued her belligerent rhetoric. On Tuesday evening she cut loose with a victory stem-winder, reiterating the words â€œfight,â€ â€œfighter,â€ and â€œfighting.â€
History shows very time a Democratâ€™s campaign is on the ropes, the beleaguered candidate tries, somewhat pathetically, to play the macho.
Remember the time when Michael Dukakis donned his helmet, military coveralls, and red tie, and crawled into the gun turret of a 63-ton M-1 battle tank?
Donâ€™t forget that Al Gore paid feminist Naomi Wolf $15,000 to turn him into a beta male.
And do you recall John Kerryâ€™s quail-hunting romp? By the time the cameras caught up with the hunting party, he was no longer holding the bagged birds. Teresa would not have approved.
So as Hillary Clinton tries to restart her quixotic bid for the Democratic presidential nomination, itâ€™s inevitable that she would try to portray herself as a gun-toting, military-loving fighter on behalf of the common man.
And above all, a woman who can really hold her liquor.