Are Liberals to Blame for Soaring Gasoline prices?

By: John Lillpop

In the throes of the Great Gasoline Crisis of 2008, many irate citizens are wrongly blaming President Bush and the Republicans for it all, vowing to install veto-proof Democrat majorities in both chambers of congress and a socialist black Muslim as president come November.

My fellow Americans, electing liberal Democrats to deal with the gasoline crisis makes about as much sense as hiring members of the MS-13 gang to manage U.S. border patrol. Or trusting Bill Clinton as your guiding light for marital fidelity and sexual modesty.

To prove that point, consider the bassackwards way that Democrats think when it comes to energy:

When asked to identify the cause of soaring gasoline prices, liberals will almost always reply that the crisis at the fuel pump is the direct result of:

A vast right-wing conspiracy to stop poor people of color from driving to the polls, or

Republican greed, or

Bush lies about WMD.

Ask a liberal about drilling for new oil reserves, and you will be told that:

Drilling for new oil reserves is prohibited by the U.S. Constitution, or

Doing so is sure to irritate Iran’s president and other Islamic business leaders that Bush should be working with, rather than against, or

Is completely unnecessary if automobiles are outlawed.

Inquire about additional domestic refining capacity and liberals will respond that such a policy will:

Increase demand, causing more global warming, or

Would be OK if built in blue states by brown illegal aliens.

Liberals believe that the best idea for dealing with the high cost of gasoline is to:

Ignore it. Americans drive too much as it is, or

Ignore it because higher prices will drive Bush’s poll numbers even lower, or

Raise gasoline taxes $2.50 per gallon to reduce demand, or

Cut off supplies to Red states.

According to liberal theology, SUVs and larger cars are:

Anti-American. Anyone owning one should be arrested & charged with treason, or

OK if operated by union labor working to elect Democrats.

All of which proves that America cannot trust liberals to do the right thing when political gain can be achieved by waging a partisan food fight!

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