The Latest Loony Tunes, Oddities, Political Lies and Hot Air
By: Jack L. Key
Every year they get more hilarious and foolish. More jerky tales from more jerky people who are either so dumb or foolish or power-hungry they must inventâ€”or reinvent– more idiocies for us to digest with our daily lives, politics and presidential campaigns.
I donâ€™t mean to belittle our traditions of free speech or democratic electionsâ€”far from it. But every year at this time the Loonies seem to rise to the occasion and give us some laughs–and even some concerns. And they are just not limited to the USA, although we do seem to have an endless supply of assorted nutsâ€”and a shortage of Cuckoos Nests.
Weâ€™re awfully good at idiocy in this country, and just not limited to presidential campaign lunacy, either. The mainstream media is noted for its maniacal left-wing frenzies that go to any lengths, including forgetting facts and other truths, to get their favorites elected. Remember CBSâ€™s Dan Rather â€œodditiesâ€ and the New York Times â€œfunnyâ€ stories from the 2004 campaign? And Senator Kerryâ€™s out-of-sight bravery in the swiftboats?
And hereâ€™s a couple just out of the 2008 Loony jar:
World Net Daily reports on July 8 that an American pastor in Bonney Lake, WA is organizing a â€œTrumpet Blowing For Jesusâ€ around the world this coming September to show God weâ€™re awake down here if Jesus wants to come on down! As if God needed any help in knowing whatâ€™s going on down here in earth-hell anywayâ€”and whoâ€™s awake.
But WND says the hot air horn blowing response has so far been great from places like Durban, South Africa and Brooklyn, NY, USA!
Now we hear too that the California public schools have banned the use of â€œMom and Dadâ€ by the children there and they must use â€œother meansâ€ when referring to Father and Mother, IE: PARENTS, by any other name? PU-LEESE!
And the pastor in Bonney Lake, WA thinks God wants to awaken even more assorted nuts and fruitcakes down here?
This year our first 2008 campaign Loony Tune and Oddity comes from B. Hussein Obama, the wannabe Christian and black Democrat presidential candidate whose pastor is (was) the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. For 20 long years, Obama tells us, he has sat in that church and not heard or listened to his pastor speak. But he thought his wife heard him?
Now Wright does not just speak, he screams and shouts out his hate messages of racism and anger at America that everyone else outside the church HAS heard. Yet, even though he hasnâ€™t heard the speeches, Obama is quick to tell us that his preacher is just a poor black man and frustrated, and thatâ€™s why he hates us all.
Then there was Obamaâ€™s real estate deal in Chicago with convicted Syrian mobster Tony Rezko that he says was a â€œno brainer.â€ Well, Obama ditched Wright and his church and wouldnâ€™t stand up for Tony R. Now he has a new church and a â€œnewâ€ political correctness.
Poor Insein Hussein. He canâ€™t seem to get anything right. Now his first general election ad that broke on TV July 4th states candidate Obama helped pass laws that â€œextended health care for wounded US troops whoâ€™d been neglected.â€ The Obama ad â€œCountry I loveâ€ provides a citation at the bottom that reads: Public Law 110-181. That Law was part of the Defense Authorization Bill that passed the Senate in January.
Only problem is Senator Obama DID NOT VOTE for that Bill! He was one of 6 Senators not voting that day. See the Senate Voting Record for measure H.R. 4986. Oh, woe!
But now comes Obamaâ€™s looniest tuneâ€”he canâ€™t find his (real) birth certificate! The one he and his friends posted on his â€œFight the Smears.comâ€ website smells as fishy as Charlie the Tuna! Where, oh where was Obama born?
Apparently no one in the United States Senate knows either, since Iâ€™ve asked two other serving Senators to check Obamaâ€™s citizenship he MUST have to serve in the U.S. Senateâ€” as well as to be a presidential candidate. There is a deathly silence in the Senate these days that seems rather strange for a group that otherwise talks and talks and talksâ€”and usually says nothing. Even on July 4th break they can answer questions from constituents canâ€™t they?
That says an awful lot about Obama himself, doesnâ€™t it? And about our elected Senators? Someone better speak up soon or thereâ€™s going to be a real stinky investigation that could un-feather some big-time nests up in D.C.
Our second Loony Tune and Nursery Rhyme comes fromâ€”yes, you guessed it, that great American tribunal of left-wing blather and other selected boondoggles, TIME magazine, that along with the New Yorker magazine, fancy themselves as the â€œprogressiveâ€ conscience of America.
Everyone knows that getting your mug placed squarely and close-up on TIMEâ€™s cover is the equivalent of heaven for the entire politically correct crowd, Washington insiders, political hacks, Bush haters, African and Caribbean Dictators, Hollywood and TV types, enemies of America, Jihadists and the UN, to name just a few.
Why doesnâ€™t TIME put Obamaâ€™s improvised and smelly Hawaii birth certificate published on the Daily Kos and on his own campaign website smack-dab on the cover of this great American icon? The writers at TIME have defended everything else Obama has said and done, including his â€œFight the Smearsâ€ infamous website.
That selection would fit well with the socialists at TIME, and will provide the magazine the perfect opportunity and platform to promote its favorite Democrat-liberal candidate for president in the upcoming elections in this country.
TIME, Inc. is one of those mega-media empires that want readers to think of the namesake as the little home-town magazine, fighting for some hard-earned recognition in the endless maze of so-called American journalism.
There was a period long ago that description may have fit the magazine. TIME, like all journalistic big boys who have outgrown their britches, took capitalism at its word and made millions. Then, like all turncoats, it cut off the hand that fed it for so long, and turned to socialism, even communistic leanings in some of its published writings.
That makes a perfect fit for Obama, who himself has cavorted with the likes of big-time commie Frank Davis, a CPUSA member when alive and 1970â€™s Weatherman bomber William Ayers, to name a couple. And there are others. So now, for reasons unknown to the rest of us and impossible for even the editors and â€œjournalistsâ€ at TIME to explain, they can choose the man who lost his birth certificate somewhere in the bowels of the United States Senate!
They can publish the Internet siteâ€™s Obambi BC facsimile right up there on the cover to join all the other recent great mugs that have flowered the front page of TIME!
Where DID that birth certificate go? And who would pay to find a new (real) one for Obama? Shouldnâ€™t someone have told him itâ€™s not nice to try and fool US Citizens and voters? As a sworn US Senator, shouldnâ€™t he have come forward immediately on the first outcry with his personal copy of his birth certificate? On TV? And in a big-time newspaper too? He can still do it nowâ€”better late than never.
Every election year it seems I almost wear my fingers to the bone writing about politics and other assorted weird Loony Tunes stories that our democracy, western traditions and press freedoms bring about. This is just a few that are obvious this year. There are many more out there. Iâ€™ve even thought about compiling all my past and present Loonies into a book?
Whoâ€™d believe B. Hussein Obama wears the US flag pin in his lapel when heâ€™s at home (or in church)? Or that Times Square was once New Amsterdamâ€™s garbage dump? Or that Osama bin Laden was once a good olâ€™ Saudi Arabian horse trader? Or that gasoline was .19 cents a gallon in my own lifetime? Or that the US economy is in the longest sustained period of growth in its history and personal income taxes are lower than at any time in the past 50 years? Or that Senator Joe McCarthy was right all along?
And whoâ€™d believe that for less than $10 bucks thereabouts anyone can obtain a copy of his or her (certified) birth certificate from the great state of Hawaii?
Jack L. Key, Ph.D. is the author of several books and writes political commentary and satire as well as features articles for the Internet and prints media. He is also a US Navy aviation veteran and retired healthcare professional. Contact him at: firstname.lastname@example.org or visit: www.authorsden.com/jackkey