Brett Favre: Too Old for Life, Too Young to Die


By: John Lillpop

On October 10, Brett Lorenzo Favre will turn 39 years old.

In most walks of American life, being 39 allows one the luxury of presuming to be young, even with the big 40 looming ever so ominously.

However, for the past 15 years, Brett Favre has worked as a world class athlete in the National Football League (NFL), an industry in which being 39 is a serious offense, one which is rarely tolerated.

In the isolated instance where an athlete with more than 35 birthdays on his rap sheet is countenanced, the lavish accommodations typically heaped upon 20-something jocks are conspicuously absent.

For the aging athlete, multiple year contracts are replaced by hour-to-hour memorandums of understanding scribbled on Post-It stickies; wages are closer to the minimum wage than to the obscene mega buck deals that have spoiled so many young Spartans.

Although Brett Favre is considered an ‘old man’ by the Green Bay Packers, this is one exceptional physical and mental specimen.

Among his many gifts is an incredibly powerful throwing arm, the coordination and balance of a ballet dancer, the strength and resiliency of a sumu wrestler, and the intellect of a four star general.

Favre has the heart of a lion, and the grit, determination, and mental chutzpah of a US Marine.

His many blessing have lead Favre to an astounding record of achievement in professional football:

* Most career touchdown passes, passing yards, and pass completions in NFL history;

* Only three-time AP MVP in NFL history;

* Lead Packers to two Super Bowls.

In Green Bay, Wisconsin, Favre was long ago elevated to icon status, and is widely worshipped as the Messiah for Packer football fans who live only for Sunday afternoons and Packer victories.

Only the Second Coming of Jesus would cause more commotion, provided, that is, that the Lord did not come between the hours of 1-4 PM on a Sunday in which the Packers were engaged in combat on Lambeau Field behind Brett Favre.

Despite Favre’s historic achievements and larger than life persona, the Green Bay Packers have decided to lateral the ball to twenty-something Aaron Rodgers to replace Favre as the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers.

Forget the division titles, NFL titles, and Super Bowls. Dispense with fond memories of the touchdown passes, passing yards, and pass completion records.

None of that matters a whit now that Brett Favre has violated the professional athlete’s code of conduct by doing the unforgivable: Growing oldish.

Caution: Do not cry too many tears for Brett Favre. After 15 years in the NFL, he is more financially secure than most sub-prime lenders and may be asked to bail out the FDIC if the lending crisis continues to grow.

Brett Favre: Too Old for Life, Too Young to Die!

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