Joe Must Go Contest Memo

by: Harold Witkov

The Democratic Party

Re: Daily Message Memo: Joe Must Go Contest
September 15, 2008
Memorandum

To: Interested Parties

From: Obama Campaign Senior Strategist and DNS Advisor

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Due to our disastrous dropping in the polls since the nomination of Sarah Palin, our field-testing polling has been showing that Hillary Clinton on the VP ticket will fare much better than Joe Biden.

We can now disclose that in the September 11 meeting between Bill Clinton and Barack Obama, Bill told Barack that Hillary was still willing to take the number two spot, and Barak told Bill, Michelle had given Barack her permission to put Hillary on the ticket.

With apologies to the two percent who fervently supported Joe Biden in the Democratic Primaries, this election is not about change, but about winning. Therefore, Joe must go.

Since we cannot afford to have Barack fire Mr. Biden and appear to be a flip flopper like Mr. Kerry, we need our base to provide us with convincing reasons Joe can use and make it seem it is his idea to step down and not Barack’s. (Do not be concerned Mr. Biden will not cooperate; he will get an offer he cannot refuse)

Please send your suggestions on what Joe should say when he removes himself from the ticket to joemustgocontest@gmail.com.

Chosen answer winner will receive an ambassadorship.

Contest bonus: free ticket to the Obama/Clinton inauguration for those who provide the date Joe steps down.

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The preceding post is parody! Please no emails about how it is “fake”!