Get Your Paws Off My WaMu!


By: John Lillpop

This date, September 26, 2008, will live in infamy as the date on which the United States of America trained its economic assassins and fiduciary thugs on the estate of John W. Lillpop, said estate heretofore entrusted to Washington Mutual Bank, affectionately known as WaMu because of the coffee and walnut chip cookies they always have available to affluent clients.

What a revelation, waking to the news that your bank–your WaMu–has been seized by the U.S. government and declared to be nothing but a toxic asset, a worthless bit of fool’s gold to be included in the Bush Bailout.

This is the sort of news that makes one feel emotionally dirty, in need of a good scrubbing just to remove all the slime and crude.

Alternatively, rather than going through expensive therapy and or a shower, one could simply become a Democrat and launch a new career in mortgage banking. Perfect fit, seamless transition as they say.

My bank seized? My $134.78 account, not counting interest due for the third quarter?

With all respect owed President Bush (nada!), this man has given American jobs to illegal aliens, turned the dollar into mush, and now he has seized my WaMu.

What next? Bread lines passing out free milk from China?

Still there is one bit of sweet irony that takes some out of the sting out of being seized by the U.S. government:

That $134.78 in my WaMu came from the $300 rebate check that Dubya sent me last spring.

Therefore, my loss is limited to my fair share of that $700 billion dollar fraud that Dubya is trying to enact, LESS $134.78, which was Dubya’s to begin with!

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