The New President of A.S.S.

By: Jack L. Key

Workin’ on the “change” gang….

Well, November 4 has come and gone and the American people have a new President-elect. The hard campaign months are over, and now we can look for some BIG changes, as promised by the winning black socialist headed for the Oval Office.

He is held up to be the world’s Messiah, to lead us where no man has gone before, and as President of the American Socialist States (ASS), formerly the USA, to sit down with our enemies so they may all love us once again. Peace (at any cost) that is his rallying call! Forget 9/11! Forget the 3,000 murdered, the 6,000 dead soldiers, the Muslim jihad!

There are a few nagging questions, though, he might need to address before the Inauguration, such as is he a citizen, natural born, where in hell is that (real) birth certificate and what happened with his (new) Selective Service Registration card?

Were he and Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn just casual acquaintances or were they in fact close buddies? What about all those ‘08 voter fraud charges that the FEC is going to overlook? Was he ever a real ACORN nut? And what will Tony Rezko say—or has said already? Are all those relatives in Kenya wrong about seeing little Hussein born there?

Someone said Jesse Jackson actually shed a tear when Hussein won—does that mean he won’t actually cut the ordained one’s b—s off as he said?

But my favorite of all was Jeremiah Wright saying he’d been hiding until Hussein won—maybe now he’ll say for sure if Hussein was really in church to hear his “sermons” every week. Or did he just send Michelle to get her weekly dose of “hate whitey?” Now will Northwestern U. finally give ol’ Jeremiah his honorary doctorate?

I read an article in my local socialist left-wing newspaper about Hussein and Michelle bringing “style” to Washington (but which side of 15th street?), and that ASS first lady Michelle is worried about choosing a “bold” gown for Inauguration goings-on. Seems black on black doesn’t stand out enough, and she can’t stand white.

So now all the big left-wingers and socialists, insiders and media elitists are gathering and cleaning up their acts in preparation for invitations to the big “list” of the Hussein Administration. Let’s see, Joe Biden is already the ASS VP, so now is it Hillary for ASS Sec. State? Will hubby Bill make a return to ASS in a new capacity?

Where will “swift boat” John Kerry fit in? I heard Howard Dean has resigned as DNC chair. ASS will certainly find room for these two characters I’m sure.

The socialist class over at the ASS Capitol is still there, Pelosi, Reid, Murtha—yes, “mad dog” Murtha actually did win reelection from his PA district he said were all rednecks. Now they all fit together nicely. They will represent ASS very well!

This is the new ASS, the cast of characters American socialists and Democrats have assembled and elected to lead us all down the path to Godless association, where all are one and one are all. What you have is mine and vice versa, tax and spend is the law of the land, and we will join Russia, China and France as true socialists forever!

Just do as you are told—or else! Fidel and Hugo will be real neighbors, and N. Korea and Iran will be the new travel points! Israel will drown in a sea of Muslim and Arab hate and Africa will be the recipient of all the new money coming from ASS, the old USA.

I can hardly wait to see what I’ve been missing all those 232 years we were a Democracy– the hope and promise of all mankind. The nation that saved the world twice over and then rebuilt it, protected it for 63 years and then returned it to its residents—better than before!

The new ASS “change” gang? Just garbage……

Jack L. Key, Ph.D. is a retired healthcare professional, author of several books, and writes commentary and feature articles for the Internet and prints media. He is a veteran of US Navy aviation. Contact: or visit

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