A Thrill Is Not Running Down My Leg


By: Guest Authors

By: Greg Halvorson

It’s come to my attention that “bad things happen to good people,” but in the case of Barack Obama, who knew that the 59 million people who managed to buck the influence of ACORN and withhold their allegiance would have it so bad. I tried during the campaign to dissent, to assert to whomever would listen that just because McCain, with his caved-in skull, rejected “the politics of personal destruction,” didn’t mean that Obama lacked socialist flair. But time after time, I was told “it’s not true.” Friend after friend threw Bush in my face, corroborating anger with articles from Rolling Stone (that icon of journalism) and Obama stickers on my car. Now, when I see those friends (rarely), the conversation is shallow (“How are you?” “How do you think I am!”), and awkwardness, where before there was ease, engenders the atmosphere of a dental office waiting room.

Do I miss their lockstep, head-in-the-clouds “kindness”?

Not really—you can’t help people who support spending to end debt, lying to pass laws, and yelling to mute facts. The other day, I passed a liberal getting out of his car. A Volvo (what else?), the bumper sported anti-Bush stickers, and in passing, I asked how he thought the president was doing. His answer? First, he used “impossible” to delineate the challenge of the office, but, in his view, Obama and his family were “wonderful.” He particularly liked that he’d planted a garden at the White House.

That’s right—nothing on the passing of an unread bill (Waxman-Markley) that destroys our ability to compete against China, nothing on a rogue dictator (Ahmadinejad) getting a pass after slaying protestors of a fixed election, nothing on single-payer health care from the Haywire Kooks who send tax dollars to corpses…. No, the thing that stuck out, and mattered, was herbs. Herbs.

I was reminded of the quote, “The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of moral struggle” (Martin Luther King Jr.) and saw this soft-hearted, “kumbayah”-singing Dem spoon-tarring roofs while draped in the flag. Indeed, with such sweeping legislation being jammed down the throats (and wallets) of the American people in the hope that ignorance of the president’s ideology will foster subservience to bureaucratic control, it’s difficult to argue against “moral struggle,” harder still to believe that the Garden of Eden doesn’t have roots pointed toward Hell.

That said, he was “nice.” So nice (hateful bumper sticker notwithstanding) that I imagined Hizb-ut Tahrir, the terrorist organization that recently met at the Oak Park Hilton to discuss “The End of Democracy” and “The Rise of Islam in America,” inviting him to join such prestigious alums as Khalid Sheik Mohammed, the mastermind of 9-11, and Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, now dead (thanks to the man on the bumper-sticker), in an effort to bring Caliphate to his hometown. Caliphate, for those who aren’t Islamic wack-jobs whose goal is to make every man, woman and child “subservient to Allah,” would depress home prices even further and, in all likelihood, have an adverse effect on the timely production of “American Idol” come fall.

Unlikely? Granted…. But in the era of Hope and Change, political correctness accommodates terror, while big, amorphous, indefinable concepts— “renewable energy,” “climate change,” “universal coverage”—flout detail. Why bother? The gamut of challenges facing the nation can be summarized not in educational minutiae but in strolling minstrels “whistling past the graveyard” to the new national anthem, “Slip-sliding Away.”

Question. Does anyone, having considered this man, believe he comprehends (or cares to comprehend) proposed legislation that may CRIMINALIZE food-gardening? That’s right, after you retrieve your jaw, know that HR 875, The Food Safety Modernization Act, may limit food-growing privileges to corporate giants whose lobbying efforts can be traced to Monsanto (Rosa DeLauro, D-CN, the bill’s sponsor, is married to Stan Greenberg, a political strategist and Monsanto client). The legislation seeks to destroy, under the guise of “food safety,” the fundamental right to live off the land, free of corporatism, and provide for oneself. Who sponsors the bill? Democrats. (Forty-two of them, not a single Republican.) Who is the F.D.A.’s de facto Food Czar? Why none other than Michael Taylor, former executive and chief lobbyist for…. Monsanto! Foisted in the onerous lawyerese (section 206) are the conforming requirements of “food production facilities.” Nebulous and, if you’ll excuse the expression, “full of fertilizer,” “food production facility” is purposely vague. Less vague is the consequence of non-compliance. Section 402:

The Administrator shall have the authority to administratively detain and seize any food regulated under this Act that the Administrator has reason to believe is unsafe, is adulterated, or otherwise fails to meet the regulation of the food safety law.

Also from section 402:
The Administrator shall provide by regulation for procedures to institute a seizure action on an expedited basis with respect to perishable food.

Perishable food? Last time I checked, ALL food was perishable. One is left wonder to what degree of compliance the White House garden may be subjected. It is, after all, a “food production facility.”
A chill, not a thrill, is running down my leg.

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