Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to You Your Government

By: Jim Byrd

Warning: Never, under any circumstance, confuse what the federal government has morphed into as representative of the heart and soul of the United States of America as long as this country is a free republic. It is one thing to rebuke the federal government, and another to rebuke this country.

The majority of Americans view the United States federal government as incarnate, a being, a corporeal entity; generally the bearded caricature of Uncle Sam suffices for most as representative of the federal government. But good ol’ Uncle Sam is generally only employed to invoke patriotism among the masses for some gain at the federal level, or the very rare occasion that the federal government actually accomplishes something for the greater good of the country rather than for political expediency.

Warren Buffett, who supported Obama for president, has disagreed with his policies, agreed with his policies, has penned an article for the New York Times thanking Uncle Sam (Obama), for saving the world, or rather the projects that Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway was able to profit from either by conventional investing or shorting, and with penned lines such as, “Only one counterforce was available, and that was you, Uncle Sam. When the crisis struck, I felt you would understand the role you had to play.” Buffett, like all investors, sees only what is good for his profits, and the opportunities presented to him by any administration.

The federal government is a bureaucracy, a bureaucracy that has reached immeasurable magnitude. All forms of governmental bodies are bureaucracies: local city governments, school boards, committees, states, and etc. Bureaucracy and commonsense work in unison just as the north-seeking poles of two magnets work together. The smaller the bureaucracy, the less it resists commonsense, and the opposing forces are small enough to give hope that the two could be reconciled. But the federal government and commonsense resist each other with such a force that it is mathematically too powerful to quantify. The larger the government, the larger the bureaucracy, and the larger the bureaucracy, the greater the probably that accomplishing anything of tangible value will diminish exponentially. There are of course exceptions to this rule, but, by Jove, they are a rarity.

Lacking functional skills, apply for a government job; devoid of ambition, apply for a government job; just want a paycheck without accountability, apply for a government job; afflicted with all of the above, run for office.

I do not advocate the extremist positions of libertarianism that call for the practical elimination of the federal government. Government is necessary for maintaining this republic, but the United States federal government could be downsized by 50% or more, and the country would be much better for it. It is the excess girth of the federal government that is the largest problem this country faces.

To understand the dysfunctions of bureaucracies, I present a recent compilation of headline stories of the ineptness, obtuseness, and general lack of commonsense of governmental agencies of all sizes within these United States of America. It is historically clear that the real enemy of all nations, and their eventual downfall, is garden-variety stupidity.

The evidence:

School Makes Boy Take American Flag Off Bike

The Golden State, California, is the most anti-American state in the union.

Cody Alicea decided to fly the American flag, Old Glory, the flag used during the revolutionary war of our independence. That flag mounted on his bicycle as he rode it to school during veteran’s week was his way of honoring our country’s soldiers past and present. But, the Denair Unified School District took offense to the flag and young Cody’s offensive display of patriotism. Following complaints from Hispanic students, the school ordered Cody to remove the flag as it was too offensive to be allowed on school property. The school stated that when Hispanics brought Mexican flags to school it created racial tensions during Cinco de Mayo. Denair Superintendent, Edward Parraz, stated: “Our Hispanic, you know, kids will, you know, bring their Mexican flags and they’ll display it, and then of course the kids would do the American flag situation, and it does cause kind of a racial tension which we don’t really want. We want them to appreciate the cultures.”

You know, it would be a disgrace, you know, if there was not an outrage about flying Mexican flags at an American school, you know. California, the state that is in debt to the point of no return, has just elected a Governor, Jerry Brown, who can be assured to double the debt, unemployment, taxes, and continue to drive wealth out of the state. California has an illegal alien population that has caused 15% of the public schools to consist of either illegals or the children of illegals, a statistic that is costing the state an additional 7.7 billion dollars a year. It is this valueless, iniquitous, and dysfunctional state that has rejected the American flag.

Not only are public schools robbing children of proper education for the cost, they are now in the business of robbing the children of their patriotism, and teaching that Old Glory is an offensive symbol even on American soil.

Was George Washington fearful of offending the British or the Hessians by charging into battle waving Old Glory?

Armed Cops Raiding Barber Shops over Criminal Barbering

It is as if a huge weight has been lifted.. Now the citizens of Orange Country can sleep at night knowing that cutting hair without a license, illegal barbering, has become public enemy number one for Orange County law enforcement, and that justice has prevailed against the wayward snippers.

Fourteen armed Orange County deputies, narcotic agents, and well-trained agents from the Department of Business and Professional Regulation conducted armed raids, for the public’s safety and in the name of bad haircuts, of course, and raided Skillz barbershop. On a lazy Saturday afternoon, barbers were caught in the criminal act of styling hair without a license. The offenders were handcuffed and hauled off to the pokey in front of bewildered half-sheared customers. Nine barbershops were caught in this unprecedented dragnet, producing 37 arrests, the bulk of the charges levied were for barbering without a license. Captain Dave Ogden, of Orange County Sheriff’s Office, was left with no choice but to arrest and incarcerate: “It was a misdemeanor crime being committed in our presence. We decided to make arrests,” Ogden professed. It is unclear if Odgen harbored a personal vendetta against the felonious barbers, as he suspiciously hid his suspected mutilated coiffure under a chapeau.

Remember to check your stylist’s license against his or her photo identification, and if it matches, and the license is not expired, hug your stylist, and relax knowing your cut will not be interrupted by the incarceration of your stylist mid-snip.

Michigan Woman Faces Civil Rights Complaint for Seeking a Christian Roommate

A Michigan woman has crossed the line of decency by looking for a Christian roommate in an advertisement posted at a Christian church.

A Samaritan of bountiful civic duty saw the ad and promptly reported it to the fair housing authority, which led to formal charges being brought against the Christian advertiser, and her illegal quest for a Christian roommate. She perhaps had violated some pagan’s civil rights. The complaint filed at the Fair Housing Center accused the Christian of having “expressed an illegal preference for a Christian roommate, thus excluding people of other faiths.” Executive Director Nancy Haynes said, “It’s a violation to make, print or publish a discriminatory statement. There are no exemptions to that.” Haynes also elaborated that the unnamed woman could face hundreds of dollars in fines, and of course the obligatory indoctrination of being sent to “fair housing training” so it does not happen again.

Remember, in the world of the Left, it is a crime to have a preference about with whom you choose to live. If you choose to date or marry a certain race, you could be found guilty of preferring one race over another, and if you prefer one gender over another for dating purposes, or marriage, be prepared to be fined, jailed, and indoctrinated.

Haynes, apparently suffering from chronic imbecilicitis compounded by the deprivation of commonsense, said the state will pursue the matter.

New Castle Councilman Calls Cops on Boys’ Cupcake Sale

New Castle, New York will not tolerate any breach of the law, even if it mirrors a Norman Rockwell painting. Two 13 year old scofflaws, Andrew DeMarchis and Kevin Graff, did what kids have done since, well, forever, and set up a little stand to sell cupcakes, brownies, and cookies at Gedney Park. And along came–remember what we discussed earlier–New Castle Councilman Michael Wolfensohn, bureaucrat, completely depleted of commonsense. Once Wolfensohn realized the den of inequity in the guise of a cookie stand, he promptly called the police, probably 911. Law enforcement promptly arrived.

When asked by someone with a lick of sense why he couldn’t have simply told the boys that they needed a license instead of calling the police, Wolfensohn lamented, “In hindsight, maybe I should have done that, but I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to do that.” But Wolfensohn did raise a perplexing and valid point: “The police are trained to deal with these sorts of issues.”

It is reassuring that my local police academy focuses training new recruits on how to handle armed suspects, weapons handling, self defense, and other rather important skills to protect citizens against criminals rather than being trained on raiding junior high cookie stands.

Of course, the boys could opt for the $1 million dollar insurance, and pay $350 per hour to operate in the park, per the Parks Department.

Obama Statement on Israeli Construction Freeze Startles Prime Minister’s Office

President Obama, the smartest human alive, publicly praised Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu for freezing new settlements in the West Bank. This statement, of course, sent shock waves through the country of Israel, especially Netanyahu and Israel’s government. The problem is that no one in the Israeli government, including Netanyahu, had ever made such a statement to Obama or anyone else. Obama again is subscribing to the if I say it, then it will be happen credo of his administration that has produced zero beneficial and tangible results two years into his presidency.

Mark Regev, Netanyahu’s spokesman, said, “nothing has changed in between the time the cabinet met and the U.S. president’s remarks.” What he did was call Obama a prevaricating buffoon in a very diplomatic sort of way.

Netanyahu is considering some type of freeze, but it is still only in the outlined stages.

Netanyahu personally joined the dog-pile on Obama’s lack of diplomacy and ability to tell the truth, while reassuring his cabinet that he is running Israel, and not Obama: “If and when it is complete, I will bring this proposal to the appropriate government forum, which in this case is the cabinet. In any case, I insist that any proposal meet the state of Israel’s security needs, both in the immediate term and vis-à-vis the threats that we will face in the coming decade.”

HHS Falls Short of Pre-existing Coverage Prediction by 97.8%

Remember when Obama and the Democrats said we had to overhaul this country’s healthcare system immediately? He wanted to socialize our healthcare system so badly that he and the Democrats circumvented this country’s legislative system, passed the bill without a vote from the Senate, and Obama merrily signed it into law. While trying to sell it to a very unreceptive public, Obama tried to coerce its acceptance by alluding that if passed, a burden would be lifted off this country’s economy and conscience: “The cost of our health care has weighed down our economy and the conscience of our nation long enough.” And all those disenfranchised sick people who are not covered by health insurance will surely stampede to the government troughs and slake their thirst for government subsidized health care coverage, and of course save the economy at the same time. Well almost one year later and the numbers are in. The economy is worse, more people are uncovered, and over the horizon it looks just as bleak:

255 million: The number of Americans with existing health insurance coverage.

20 million: The number of Americans without any health coverage at all due to economic circumstances.

375,000: The number of Americans with pre-existing conditions HHS said would apply for coverage in the first year of ObamaCare, one of the main political arguments for its implementation.

8,011: The number that actually did.

Eight-thousand people. That’s it. Eight-thousand people. One person in North Dakota. Four people from West Virgina. Fifteen in Minnesota. Sixty-three people in Indiana. And 393 in Texas. What was not released was whether or not they were American citizens.

In a statistic that encapsulates the entire Obama administration and the Democratic led Congress, their success rate was a measly 2.2% after the upheaval of the entire healthcare system, lying to the American public about being able to keep their current plan, circumventing the legislative process, and destroying the insurance coverage of those already insured, and creating a plethora of mandates that are already stalling or destroying businesses, all for a 2.2% success rate. But so far, Obama has issued 111 waivers to corporations exempting them from ObamaCare.

Homeland Security and the Transportation and Safety Administration Demonstrate the Idiocy of the Federal Government

For the sake of brevity, I will only use a truncated list of the idiotic policies of Homeland Security and its rules governing the TSA and aircraft safety for the past couple of weeks that has left the probability of an incident happening to lottery style protection.

Pilots must go through either sexual assault–government sanctioned groping–or completely unknown health risk by passing through a body scanning machine that will expose their naked bodies. If they have a pair of nail clippers or too many ounces of Prell shampoo, it will be confiscated. But, once they are on board their aircraft, they will have at their disposal an axe, fire extinguishers, flares, and absolute control of a 900,000 pound missile capable of traveling at mach .92, over 600 miles per hour, but severely handicapped without their overabundance of Prell or trusty nail clippers. The pilot could also be one of the 85,000 to 90,000 pilots and crew who are certified to carry firearms on their flights, but no nail clippers.

Janet Napolitano is one of the few people in America that can make Michael Brown look like the Albert Einstein of national security. She said that abandoning the scanners would be “irresponsible” and that passengers who don’t like it can “travel by some other means.” She also stated that the scanners would have caught the “underwear bomber.” She lies. What she does not address is that with our random selection of which passengers will pass through the body scanners or enhanced pat-downs, it is highly probable that the “underwear bomber” wouldn’t even have been groped or scanned, plus it is only conjecture that the scanner would have noticed the underwear bomb. His flight originated in another country, which leaves Homeland Security, TSA, and the scanners and gropers impotent to incoming international flights.

A military convoy of 330 soldiers was coming back from Afghanistan. They had been through two full screenings already, but were pulled off the plane in Indiana, where hilarity ensued. They were carrying their weapons from Afghanistan, M4 carbines, pistols, and M240 machine guns, but they actually had their nail clippers confiscated by the TSA while holding their weapons. And on and on and on.

This is not about airline security; it is theater, hype, and creating the illusion that flying is safe with the seal of the United States government.

So there it is, government and bureaucracy v. commonsense. As can be seen, not one of the government employees or elected officials are remotely qualified for their jobs: Barack Obama and his cabinet, the school superintendent, the city councilman, Janet Napolitano, the Department of Business and Professional Regulation, and every single Democrat in Congress. This is your government at work. This was just a snap shot of a couple of incidents during the past couple of weeks, so sit back and enjoy watching as new episodes unfold this week, and the next, and the next…. The question is, what are you going to do about it?

About The Author Jim Byrd:
Jim Byrd's website is A Skewed View.

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