Twas the Night Before Liberal Christmas 2011
By: J.J. Jackson
‘Twas the night before liberal Christmas, and all ‘cross the land,
The mood on the left was somber, their rhetoric quite bland.
Children they huddled in town squares with hands out,
The Occupy protestors beat cops and did shout.
Few were still listening to their rants and their cries,
But shout them they would, and promote their Big Lies.
While I was all snuggled, tightly wrapped up in my bed,
I really couldn’t care less of the things that they said.
The economy still tanked, despite them getting their “hope”,
But they didn’t know why, sitting ’round smoking their dope.
They wanted more this, and they demanded more that,
While the rest of us worried about having to cook up the cat.
These moonbats were barking about all of the snow
Global Warming would cause it; didn’t you know?
When what to my wondering ears did I hear?
Yawn. Attacks on the rich – just like each other year.
From topic to topic their babble darted so quick,
As if it had been said by a Durbin named Dick.
Like coursers they crashed through barricades and a wall,
Bottles, bricks they did hurl at the cops as they called.
“Down Liberty and Order! Down Pigs! Down Foul Jews!
Down America! Down Law! Down bankers and their Zionist crews!
Go forth with your ropes, string them up on the wall!
Leave no stone unturned – make sure to kill them all!”
On TV broken windows from east coast to west sea,
And as arrested they cry, “POLICE BRUTALITY!”
In holding cells they do catch their breath and are still,
Each mourns the death of Dear Leader, Comrade Jong-il.
It makes their hearts sink and their brains they do ache,
Bemoaning the void left with liberalism at stake.
Why oh why had he not been given more time,
To oppress his people and make their ideology shine!
With a thump and a clank, I heard a noise on the roof,
It was Nancy Pelosi, that glittering ignorant goof.
She yelled and she whined so I ran out to see,
Just in time for her to curse, the vile Tea Party.
They’re evil she said, the bile dripped from her teeth,
As she looked to be short some much needed sleep.
She paced and she twirled, unable to calm down,
Then she lost her footing, crashing down with a bound.
She groaned and did griped and finally let hurtfully blare,
“THANKFULLY I’M NOT IN THAT DAMN OBAMACARE!”
I shook my head at her foolish blame game,
She called out for help, but I left her in shame.
So I went back inside to get all toasty,
Leaving her to her fate, whatever it may be.
I heard her cries fade after an hour or two,
I chanced looked outside and saw her quite blue.
To ice she had turned with a glare on her face,
That her look like something far less than her race.
It was twisted and mean, she’d died like she lived,
With hate in her heart that cut all like a shiv.
Now she is there, unable to continue her work,
To demonize producers like a self-righteous jerk.
Thirsty and parched, I poured a drink out for me,
What was it you ask? Why of course a Two If By Tea!
Sure they’re still out there, the liberals so foul,
But their comeuppance is nigh, impending and now.
So I laid down my head, and had a cautious, wide grin,
Next year will be fun, as long as liberals don’t win.
J.J. Jackson is a libertarian conservative author from Pittsburgh, PA who has been writing and promoting individual liberty since 1993 and is President of Land of the Free Studios, Inc. He is the Pittsburgh Conservative Examiner for Examiner.com. He is also the owner of The Right Things - Conservative T-shirts & Gifts The Right Things. His weekly commentary along with exclusives not available anywhere else can be found at Liberty Reborn.