Occupying the Lunatic Fringe
By: Michael R. Shannon
Recently outraged Internet theologians took umbrage at my refusal to join the effort to transform Jesus into a big government, liberal Democrat that supports the Occupy squatters.
Most echoed secular interpreters of Christ who claim, “Jesus shares many of the values of those in the Occupy movement.”
I contend Jesus had plenty of time to confront civil authority, yet Christ focused on religious authority. He didn’t discuss politics with the centurion or tax rates with Matthew. In fact the only system of government approved by God was that of the judges, and the Jews disliked that arrangement so much they demanded a king.
Democracy and social justice are not mentioned in the New Testament because it’s not a political science or economics text. The Word is directed at individuals and not Wall Street, corporations, the GOP, Congress or the Koch brothers.
Solutions will come, if ever, from individuals acting on their own and not collectivists like Nancy Pelosi telling us what to do. But I try to keep an open mind. Maybe I haven’t spent enough time with Occupy to form an accurate opinion.
Fortunately, my daughter saved me a trip and reported back on her encounter with those New Testament individuals working to establish the Kingdom here on earth. Last Saturday night Occupy was marching through Downtown DC to block Obama’s appearance at that den of inequity, the Alfalfa Club Dinner. My daughter’s car was stopped at an intersection blocked by Occupy marchers and in no time at all these “Christ–like” crusaders for Justice saw she was a young woman alone.
They surrounded her vehicle and began the spreading their word. Some dropped their pants to expose my daughter to the persuasive message contained in their genitals. Others sat on the hood and pounded their fists. All this took place accompanied by an inspiring soundtrack of curses, vulgarities and sexual harassment.
She wasn’t mistaken for a member of the 1 percent, gloating over the misfortunes of the poor. She drives a rice burner approaching 135,000 miles that’s decorated with dents, dings and rust spots courtesy of dad’s attempt to repair a broken window.
She was singled out because Occupy harbors an increasing collection of gutless thugs who get off on frightening women and the weak.
There were approximately five offenses worthy of arrest: genital exposure, attempted destruction of property, blocking an intersection, disorderly conduct, assault and wearing a mask to conceal identity (particularly ironic since these laws were passed by “progressives” to fight the Klan). Yet the DC cop standing and idly watching did exactly nothing and the media seldom reports this type of outrage.
I’m wracking my brain here, but I can’t find equivalent behavior on the part of the Apostles. Josephus writes of a Roman soldier starting a riot when he mooned Jews from his perch in Antonia Fortress overlooking Jerusalem, but that’s hardly part of the Gospel.
What’s amazing is how Democrats and fellow–travelers in the media demonize the TEA party and romanticize Occupy leeches. When the ugly undercurrent of the real Occupy movement finally makes headlines, the excuse is always these lawbreakers are “fringe elements” and not part of the main movement.
Really? Then why have there been almost 4,000 Occupy arrests? That’s an active fringe. You don’t find that when searching arrests at TEA party events.
But even the TEA party has a fringe, so lets compare.
TEA party fringe believes the Bilderberg Group is a real threat. Occupy fringe defecates on police cars.
TEA party fringe believes the moon landing was faked. Occupy fringe discourages a rape victim from contacting police.
TEA party fringe believes there was a second shooter on the grassy knoll. Occupy fringe smashes its way into Oakland City Hall, vandalizes children’s artwork and burns the American flag.
TEA party fringe believes the US should return to the gold standard. Occupy fringe urinates on food vendors in NYC when they stop giving free food to Occupy parasites.
Law enforcement wizards in DC may finally be noticing a trend. U.S. Park police commanders have decided, after four months of hand wringing, that it might be time to enforce the law against camping in McPherson Square.
Warnings have been issued against camping and its related activity, sleeping. According to spokesman Sgt. David Schlosser officers have been ordered to investigate tents for clues that include “sleeping bags, teddy bears and kitchen equipment.”
After reading that it’s difficult to decide which group is more pathetic. The unfortunate Park Police officers forced to search for binkies and blankets before making an arrest; or the Occupy cheering section that continues to insist this confederacy of creeps is on board with the teaching of Jesus.
Michael R. Shannon is a public relations and advertising consultant with corporate, government and political experience around the globe. He is a dynamic and entertaining keynote speaker. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.