Smile, you’re on vaginal camera
By: Michael R. Shannon
Virginia Senate Democrats are still complaining about their loss of power after last year’s election resulted in a 20 to 20 tie. This gave control to Republicans since Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling casts the tie–breaking vote.
Even in their reduced circumstances, Democrats can take solace in the fact a vote of the people forced them to relinquish power. Compare that with Virginia’s Republican leadership that has given veto power over controversial legislation to an unelected comedian.
Jon Stewart has never been on a Virginia ballot, yet the host of ‘The Daily Show’ had the power to kill the initial ultrasound bill deader than a “clump of cells” at a Planned Parenthood clinic.
The nefarious ultrasound bill was designed to put a human face, so to speak, on the receiving party of an abortion. The law Stewart vetoed would have required doctors to inform women they had the right to view an ultrasound image of the unborn child prior to terminating its life. This seems only fair. Frequently in capital murder cases the defendant is allowed to make a final plea before judgment is passed. Why not allow an unborn child to make a silent plea for its life before the abortion is carried out?
It was assumed the ultrasound would be the “jelly on the belly” procedure where the nurse spreads a lubricant on the woman’s abdomen and rubs an ultrasound wand over the surface.
If the bill had passed, Virginia would have joined seven other states that avoided attracting the attention of comedians and passed bills requiring an ultrasound before an abortion.
GOP leadership started running for cover when they learned that during the first four to eight weeks of pregnancy jelly–on–belly often doesn’t produce a useable image. Instead what doctor’s refer to as a “transvaginal ultrasound” and Democrats tastefully describe as “state sponsored rape” is required. Without getting into the roto–rooter details, the transvaginal spends a lot more time inside a woman’s plumbing than Republican leaders are comfortable with.
Naturally pro–death Democrats and their media enablers accused Republicans of violating the doctor–patient relationship and the woman’s body. But the fact is 98 percent of early abortions already involve a transvaginal ultrasound ordered by the doctor. Republicans aren’t demanding a second probe, their bill simply gave the woman the right view the image that the abortionist produced to cover himself for malpractice purposes.
For Democrats it’s all a matter of context. Ultrasounds for more efficient abortions are science. But if you want the ultrasound to help preserve the baby, keep your rosaries off my ovaries!
But Democrats in a sexual frenzy are not typically subject to coherent thought. Yesterday, when an amended bill passed that removed any chance the GOP could be blamed for transvaginal ultrasounds that were already taking place, Sen. Louise Lucas (D–Pelvis) thundered, “Women who want to have abortions will go to back alleys. Women will die. They are not going to let you tell them what to do with their bodies!”
That makes perfect sense. Rather than look at an ultrasound that Planned Parenthood is already performing, women are going to opt instead for that nice man with the coat hanger waiting behind the tattoo parlor.
Aren’t Democrats supposed to be the party that encourages civility? It might help the abortion debate if we paid more attention to people who actually had some knowledge of the procedure and less to hysterics. My recommendation is limit interviews to people who have personal experience with one of the two procedures. Pro–life supporters must have participated in delivering a baby. “Choice” supporters must have been part of an abortion. What’s more, I’m flexible on extent of participation. For men, starting the ball rolling on a pregnancy won’t count, but carrying “tissue” to the dumpster will.
As for Republicans, they’ve managed to look as feckless in Virginia on the ultrasound bill as national Republicans did on the payroll tax cut bill. They should have either shown some backbone and kept the original or passed an amended bill that required the woman to listen to the baby’s heartbeat, which is detectable after only 18 days.
It’s uncertain whether Chief Comedian Stewart will weigh in on the Commonwealth’s budget impasse, but here’s an idea. It’s seems Verizon FiOS is dropping ‘Bridges TV’ from its lineup. The network was founded to “dispel negative stereotypes about Muslims” but has had trouble attracting viewers since the network’s founder decapitated his wife in the Bridges TV office in 2009.
That’s a situation rich in irony, but something tells me Stewart wouldn’t touch it with a 10–foot vaginal probe.
Michael R. Shannon is a public relations and advertising consultant with corporate, government and political experience around the globe. He is a dynamic and entertaining keynote speaker. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.