A Simple Test - The Land of the Free

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A Simple Test By Edward L. Daley (7/10/04)

(Mr. Daley is the Owner of the Daley Times-Post. To view more of Mr, Daley's writings please visit his site)

*Editor's Note, Edward Daley submitted a revised version of this article on 7/12/04 to correct some mistakes.

I was going to write one of those "why the Kerry/Edwards ticket is wrong for America" articles this week, like so many of my conservative peers surely will in the not too distant future, but it occurred to me that doing so would probably not accomplish my goal of persuading many ill-informed, potential voters out there to see things my way. After all, how often do op-eds, no matter how insightful, well written or informative they are, change people's minds about political candidates? Not often I would wager, and that is precisely why I have concluded that I should try my hand at something a little different this time around.

So without further ado, I now present for your consideration...

The Daley Political Quiz.

Question 1. - Do you think we should concentrate exclusively on developing alternative fuel sources, at the expense of building more conventional power plants and taking advantage of our own untapped energy resources?

A.) Yes

B.) No

Question 2. - Do you believe that relinquishing control over our entire healthcare system to a government agency will result in inexpensive, high quality medical treatment for you and your family?

A.) Yes

B.) No

Question 3. - Do you believe that increasing the taxes of people who make more than $100,000 a year will improve the U.S. economy?

A.) Yes

B.) No

Question 4. - Do you embrace the hypothesis that George W. Bush took America to war in Iraq because he is an imperialist who wants to rule other countries and steal their oil?

A.) Yes

B.) No

Question 5. - Do you believe that human beings are the primary cause of global warming, and that the government should impose punitive regulations on companies to stop them from creating greenhouse gasses, even if doing so harms our economy?

A.) Yes

B.) No

Question 6. - Do you think a woman has an absolute right to abort her unborn child under any and all circumstances?

A.) Yes

B.) No

Question 7. - Are Democrat politicians more like you than Republican politicians?

A.) Yes

B.) No

Question 8. - Do you believe that the United Nations is more qualified than our own elected leaders to determine how the United States should conduct the war on terror?

A.) Yes

B.) No

Question 9. - Do you accept the premise that the U.S. Constitution prohibits any reference to God on/in public buildings, in our common pledge of allegiance, on any U.S. currency, in our various oaths of public office, in any court's oath (to tell the truth under penalty of perjury), or on/in any other place or thing which can be considered public?

A.) Yes

B.) No

Question 10. - Are you more concerned about what the rest of the world thinks about the United States of America than you are about defeating terrorists?

A.) Yes

B.) No

Question 11. - Do you believe that restricting private gun ownership will result in lower crime rates?

A.) Yes

B.) No

Question 12. - Should poor, private citizens be given no options concerning their children's enrollment in government controlled, public schools?

A.) Yes

B.) No

Question 13. - Do you agree that honor is less important than comfort?

A.) Yes

B.) No

Question 14. - Is the color of a person's skin more important, when it comes to determining his/her qualifications for employment and/or college placement, than his/her experience, knowledge and character?

A.) Yes

B.) No

That's it... pencils down.

If you chose 'Yes' more times than 'No' on the above exam, you are a true liberal. Go ahead and vote for John Kerry in November. On the other hand, if your choices where more often 'No' than 'Yes', do us all a favor and vote for the leaders of our current administration, even though some of the things they do may annoy you.

Beyond that, if by chance you are one of the unfortunate few who have picked an equal number of 'Yes' and 'No' answers, all I can say to you is GIVE UP! I can think of nothing more profoundly pathetic than someone who bounces back and forth between the left and the right like some sort of political pinball. Either pick a side or get the hell out of everyone else's way.

I thank you for your attention.