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Why I'll NEVER Be President By Jeff Jackson (10/19/04)

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Oh, I don't know why I'm so pessimistic. Maybe because my inaugural address would read like this?

"My fellow Americans, I am proud to stand before you today a servant of the people. However I have a few things to set straight. First, that before you EVER ask something of me through legislation that you PLEASE read the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. If you do not find the authority for myself or Congress to act as you desire there I ask that you pick up some of the great writings of our Founding Fathers such as Thomas Jefferson and James Madison.

Heed their words. For their words are cautionary as to what the Federal Government should and should not do.

If, after reading their personal letters and writings such as the Federalist Papers you still cannot find a plausible authority for government to act in the manner you desire PLEASE don't ask. We have enough people already in elected office that haven't read as much as you just have to come to the conclusion that your desires are best not met by government and I will be busy dealing with those people on a daily basis.

Further more, as of today I am introducing my new Century Plan. This plan will, over the course of the next century lay down the path that we must take in order to undo the mistakes of the last 100 years.

For starters this plan will, effective upon its passage abolish the Federal Income Tax. In it's place we will promptly adopt the Fair Tax Act which has been languishing in Congress and adopt an 18% to 20% national sales tax. Further details about how this will not raise taxes on any American can be found at fairtax.org. If you are too lazy to visit that web site and educate yourself and take some initiative, you probably didn't vote for me anyway and are probably not smart enough to comprehend the course of action that I propose. Hence, your opinion is irrelevant.

Moving on...

The Century Plan will immediately cease all new additions to Welfare and Social Security rolls. Welfare recipients will retain their benefits for a total of 18 years and 10 months from the date of passage. Why 18 and 10 months? First because Welfare is primarily in place to help the dependant children of less fortunate persons. Since at the age of 18 a minor ceases to be a dependant child and because the standard gestation period for a child in the mother's womb is 10 months, that will successfully cover all children conceived as of the date of passage.

After that date you will have to get a job or two or three to make ends meet because Government will not be there as your safety net. Do as I have done in the past and get that second job. If I can do it, you can do it. If you chose not to get a job, return to the churches and synagogues of this great nation and look for charity. We simply can no longer afford to pay for you however from the national coffers.

Also, no more money will be placed into the General Fund for the sole discretion of “Social Security”. The Fair Tax we will be passing will provide us with enough revenue to pay all current obligations of the Social Security Insurance system and everyone that has currently paid into the plan will receive the benefits promised to them by the Federal Government as long as there is enough money to do so. From now on you are hereby warned that you are responsible for your own retirement beyond this promise.

The same plan holds true for Medicare. Current obligations should be able to be met under the Fair Tax plan however we make no promises. From here on out you are hereby notified that you are responsible for your own medical needs beyond the scope of these benefits.

Medicaid will meet the same fate as Welfare in 18 years and 10 months time for the same reasons.

As these unconstitutional costs of government pass on into oblivion, we will continually be lowering the National Sales Tax rate implemented under the Fair Tax plan. Hopefully within 25 years we will have that rate down to about 13 or 15% at the most and allow you all as citizens of this great nation even MORE freedom and liberty.

Now, I’m sure that this is a lot for you to consume so I will end this speech here and allow you to digest it. However I suggest that if you are suckling at the nipple of the Federal Government at this time to the tune of any sum that you do your research and determine if your entitlement program is authorized by the Constitution. Because if it is not, it is most assuredly slated for termination under my Century Plan at some point in the future.

Thank you and Laus Deo.”